How to cope with separation when it's one sided.

[Flipflop148]

Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with the early days of separation. We are still living together until the house is sold and trying to stay friends for the children's sake. The problem is he wanted the separation and I didn't so I'm finding it very painful. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with the emotional pain? Thanks!

I’m wondering the same thing, we’re renting but just signed a new contract, I have no way out for at least a year. Not my decision. Thankfully we have the space to sleep separately etc
In it with you!

I'm so sorry you are in this position. It was hard enough when my ex left. Having them in your home still must been even harder.

My advice would be to live as separately as you can. Your own room. Even if you have to go in with the kids. Don't do any wife work for them. They have made a choice to separate. They don't get that luxury anymore. Try and take some time out. I know you won't want too. But for example every Sunday you take yourself off and ex takes responsibility for the children in that time. Don't be letting him live a single life of coming and going. He needs to parent too. And get a feel for how this decision looks long term. Stay strong.

Why does he want the separation ? Maybe you need to get a bit angry to help you move on.
Definitely don’t do anything for him. No washing, cooking, cleaning his room.
Time for you to start visualising your new life , and move towards it. Maybe buy some bits for your new home.

Thank you ladies. It's so horrible. I have a feeling of dread all the time and feel so lonely. We've been together almost 20 years and for him to do all this so easily is heartbreaking.
I'm trying to stay afloat for the kids. @GoodnightGrandma I like the idea of buying some new bits for my new house. @Shitonthebloodything I'm finding keeping busy helps and especially going out with friends. Are you keeping busy? I hope your landlord might release you early if he can get someone else in. It's so hard to keep living together.

@unicornsarereal72 yes I need to carve out some time for myself. His needs have usually always come first. It's hard not having that safety blanket behind you anymore. How did you keep busy when it happened? X

@Shitonthebloodything

I’m wondering the same thing, we’re renting but just signed a new contract, I have no way out for at least a year. Not my decision. Thankfully we have the space to sleep separately etc In it with you!

Ask to break the lease some will let you if you pay or one of you takes over the lease its going to be dreadful living together for a year what about when one of you moves on?

@Flipflop148

Kids kept me busy but I had the luxury of being home with them and being able to mope

When the children started going eow. I planned my time like a military operation. The day was split into 3 am Pm and evening. I made myself stay in for one part of the day. And did a mixture of seeing friends. Shopping. Etc. I also volunteered at a community allotment and the night shelter. The first was great for mixing with people the second really helped me keep things in perspective .