Are all solicitors pretty much the same?

[19Bears]

I have made an appointment to speak to a family solicitor tomorrow. I have been trying for months to get somewhere local, but they're either full and not taking any more clients, or are simply not replying to my messages. The only one that has contacted me is an hour's drive away, so it's a phone appointment for now, possibly moving to face to face if I instruct them. Do I just go with them? Or wait until I can get somewhere nearer? I fee like if I don't start the ball rolling now, I never will. Surely it doesn't really matter who I go to, when it's all based on the same legal stuff for any marriage??

I don't think they're all the same, no. I'm so glad I've got my solicitor and not my STBEX's!!

I'm also not sure if distance really matters. I haven't seen my solicitor in person since Covid - and I'm really not bothered by that. It works fine with video/tel calls and it saves me having to trek into town, too!

You shouldn't actually need to see them face to face - things can be signed electronically etc, so maybe go with the firm you feel fits you best?

I never met my solicitor face to face or even on Zoom. We did everything over the phone or email. She was great.

Never seen my solicitor, only via emails and calls....but it does make a difference as mine is definitely better than his, so you do need to choose carefully, someone who will act for your best interests not theirs ...

I'm not sure if mine is taking on new clients but I think they are. I'm happy to recommend them, and can send you their details by message if that would help you?

I don't think so I use a fantastic one, as other people said I've not seen him on zoom or in person only been phone calls x

Do research to find best recommendations

Make sure that you find a good one. Interview a few by email, over the phone etc in order to be sure you have truly found one who can support you.

Thanks everyone. Sorry for not responding, I didn't get any notifications!

Anyway, spoke to the solicitor as I mentioned, and he was actually very helpful and I feel like I've moved further in the past couple of weeks than in the past almost three years. Funnily enough, I didn't like him in the first few minutes as I thought he sounded a bit condescending and uppity, but once we got the initial details and checks out of the way, he really sounded a lot more relaxed and normal! To cut a long story short, he reassured me that as long as I could afford to take over the mortgage (which I can), I will not have to leave the house, despite me being the one to instigate the separation. If I have to pay a sum to buy him out, it wouldn't be so much to make it difficult for me. The bottom line is I get to stay in the house and not uproot the kids. I had a long list of unreasonable behaviours to go through, but he didn't even want to hear them, he just said if you've been this unhappy for so many years, that's enough to say the marriage is over. I feel more confident now. But, and it's the major but, I have to tell dh I have reached this stage and that I am serious. Solicitor says he can send a letter to dh strongly recommending he finds somewhere else to live and that contesting things will only make it worse for everyone, but obviously it's best to work it out ourselves if we can. It's good to know that option is there. He's emailed me the transcript of the conversation, and now it's up to me to take things forward, or not. I hope I keep up the momentum and strength to finally do this. Thanks all x

I need to find the strength to say it’s really over too.
Do keep going and get it done. Imagine the end product and move towards it 💐

I meant to add, I asked if it might be better to wait until next April and the new no fault law, and he said yes. I can start a legal separation now, but there's no need to rush to divorce, just do it next year when he can't contest it and drag it out.

Thanks @GoodnightGrandma I think about it constantly! The time I spend imagining the decorating I want to do, buying a new sofa, turning the bloody bed round the right way.....
Sending you to find the strength too x

My divorce lawyer was fucking useless. I was too intimidated and inexperienced to realise it. With hindsight, I could at least have asked around for recommendations but I didn't even think to do that. I was intensely stupid.