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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Flip

Original poster

CMS

11 replies

shootinstar04 · 13/10/2021 14:30

Hello,

A situation has now risen, my 17 year old daughter doesn't want to go to stay with her dad anymore. He has moved into his new girlfriends house and my daughter is currently living in a caravan on her drive when it's his turn to have her. She doesn't feel welcome or part of the family when she's there.
Apparently they are planning to build a room for her this was 9 months ago!

We have been divorced for 4 years now consent order states we have the children 50/50 as he refused to pay CMS.
She tells me she is so unhappy there and wants to stay with me full time.

I'm now being dictated by the ex how much he will pay me as I'll be having her all the time.

How much should I expect to receive for having our daughter full time?
He refuses to tell me how much he gets paid so I can work it out via the CMS calculator. I've explained he can do it himself so he doesn't have to tell me what he earns.

I'm not really sure of the financial bit I just want my daughter to be happy but also he still needs to be responsible for her so what would be a reasonable amount to put forward to him.
Would it cost me hundreds to go back to the courts if he is being unreasonable with an amount

Any advice on what would be a fair payment would be most welcome.

OP posts:

millymolls · 13/10/2021 16:06

Well I don’t want to be negative but it’s only payable till she’s 18 so in all reality if your ex is going to be an arse then you won’t see any of it.

You could raise a claim with cms and they’ll ask him to provide details but probably better you can do
S to an arrangement based on her age…

Sorry.

comfortablyfrumpy · 14/10/2021 10:57

I think in the circumstances, it would be worth going via CMS. If he won't divulge his income to you, he will have to to the CMS (as I understand it), and if he won't pay up then you can have CMS take his maintenance from his salary - and they'll charge him 20% (I think) on top (and charge you 4%).

If he's being so uncooperative, what have you got to lose. Your daughter is old enough to state where she wants to be, and it sounds as if she is better off being with you.

Good luck, he sounds a prize!

LemonTT · 14/10/2021 14:20

Court would be a waste of time at 17. Just make a CMS claim which can be processed from the point of claim.

Original poster

shootinstar04 · 14/10/2021 14:58

Thanks. I've just read through my consent order and there is a section where it states no party is to claim in the future for CMS.
He made sure I was going to be unable to claim in the future. Not sure if it will make a difference as she's wanted to live with me full time which changes the agreement from 50/50

It's like you have all said, it's only for another few months then she will be 18.

At what age can the children decide who they want to be with?
He seems to think they don't have a choice until they are 18 🤷🏽‍♀️

OP posts:

millymolls · 14/10/2021 20:02

Consent order will be based on 50:50
That’s changed
Also as I understand the child maintenance in consent order can be changed after 12 months

Lodge a claim with cms ( but don’t get your hopes up as he sounds like a prick )

RandomMess · 14/10/2021 20:25

Yes you can claim CMS despite the court order. Yes you claim it and it will be paid until the August/September that she leaves college/6th form even though she will have had her birthday. I believe if she stayed another year to repeat etc you would be eligible for a further year as you are with child benefit.

pointythings · 16/10/2021 10:32

He's very wrong about the age by which a child can decide - the courts start listening to a child's input by the time they hit 10/11 and an older teen will absolutely be allowed to make that decision before 18. My late husband didn't even try the court route when I made him leave - our DDs were 14 and 16 and wanted nothing to do with him. And he'd have got nowhere in court.

CMS is definitely your best option.

MoonahStone · 16/10/2021 10:39

CMS can't be backdated so if you are going to go down this route apply soon. You can always withdraw the application.

StoneColdBitch · 16/10/2021 15:21

If it's been more than 12 months since the court order was made, CMS should have jurisdiction.

I wouldn't go to court about a 17-year-old. You could try going via the CMS route though. As others have said, depending on her educational plans and the timing of her birthday in relation to the school year, you may still be eligible for a while.

BigYellowHat · 16/10/2021 22:17

No-one can tell you the specifics of how much. However, he shouldn’t get the same ‘discount’ he’s been getting if he’s no longer having her 50/50. Definitely speak to the CMS and report the change in circumstances.

BigYellowHat · 16/10/2021 22:19

@shootinstar04

Thanks. I've just read through my consent order and there is a section where it states no party is to claim in the future for CMS. He made sure I was going to be unable to claim in the future. Not sure if it will make a difference as she's wanted to live with me full time which changes the agreement from 50/50

It's like you have all said, it's only for another few months then she will be 18.

At what age can the children decide who they want to be with?
He seems to think they don't have a choice until they are 18 🤷🏽‍♀️

I’m so surprised that a consent order would say that no party can claim to the CMS. Is that due to the 50/50? On both mine and DH’s (from our first marriages), it specifically said that CMS was completely separate.

Flip