Divorce advise with 6 months old baby - please help

[Joannerita]

Hi, looking for advice as I'm planing my separation from my husband.

We have a 6 month old baby girl and I'm on maternity leave for another 6 months. We have our differences but since having the baby I found myself no longer willing to tolerate his name calling, disrespectful attitudes and throwing/breaking things around when arguing. I don't think we have basic level of respect for each other anymore and we don't seem to be able to communicate.

I am the primary carer for the baby, she is exclusively breastfed and I'd like to continue doing so until she is at least 1 yr old. Since she was born, my husband has been away for 5 weeks due to work and I've established baby's routine, and I'm the one who put baby to bed everyday. Once separate, my husband wants to spilt baby's time equal, but as a new mum I can't bear the thoughts of not living with my baby everyday, I also worried that as she is used to me putting her to bed, she would be upset if she doesn't live with me sometimes. Should I separate now or should I wait until she is a little older and come out of breastfeeding?

Also, financially, I'm on sat maternity pay so i won't be able to afford having baby and having a house on my own, would my husband be obligated to pay me? How does separation during Mat leave work financially?

Thank you for the advices in advance. I am hoping to have a smooth transition for me and the baby so I can be happy again.

It’s a long time ago now (15 years) but when I separated from my children’s father on marriage leave I was able to claim income support till I went back to work. The benefits system has changed but you should be entitled to some UC and yes, he will also have to pay you maintenance.

I seem to recall that they don’t expect a breastfed baby to stay away from their mother overnight. You might have to facilitate your ex having contact at your home though, if that happens.

Sorry to hear you are going through this - it’s really tough with a young baby, but the bond you form with them and knowing you did it on your own is incredible

I wojkdnr worry to much about the 50:50 for now with a young breastfed baby.

During separation you can claim CMS, but he won't have to pay you, personally, anything.

So I suppose it depends on how much he earns and how much CMS would be. Him continuing to pay the mortgage is in his own beat interest. But I have eknown men decide they will only pay half or not at all if they move out. Destroying both peopels credit scores.

Separation, until the finances are sorted can be extremely difficult period. It could be worth you looking at returning to work early. I know it's not ideal, but its best to know all your options.

Good luck

@Ozberry

It’s a long time ago now (15 years) but when I separated from my children’s father on marriage leave I was able to claim income support till I went back to work. The benefits system has changed but you should be entitled to some UC and yes, he will also have to pay you maintenance.

I seem to recall that they don’t expect a breastfed baby to stay away from their mother overnight. You might have to facilitate your ex having contact at your home though, if that happens.

Sorry to hear you are going through this - it’s really tough with a young baby, but the bond you form with them and knowing you did it on your own is incredible

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and the kind words.

In order to have my ex husband to pay the maintenance or agree on the baby stays with me overnight - does it mean we have to go to court? My husband is trying to have me bottle feed and express milk as he wants equal time after separations.