EOW contact set up!

[november90]

Just after inspiration for every other weekend set up!
Ds currently Stays with dad sun-Tuesday AM but he's suggesting he wants to change this because he is struggling with the school run and work and doesn't think it's working (🙄🙄🙄🙄 I work too!!!) anyway, I take what he says on board. I've suggested EOW in the past with a mid week sleep on the weekend he doesn't have him but he's rejected it because he doesn't want to go a full week without seeing him so we've stuck to what we're doing. He has suggested he picks him up fri afternoon and drops him off Sunday, I'm a bit put out by this though... I am concerned about my own quality time! I just wondered what you guys eow set ups look like?
Ds needs routine. He is very unsettled wry easily and he does NOT adapt well to change so it's so important for me to have a schedule which ds will understand and be able to settle with!
I absolutely not want to get into a Fight with ex over this. If what we are doing isn't working for our son then I am happy to work around it because he comes first. But at the same time, I can agree to a Sunday afternoon and then every school run for him to rock up on a Friday and get to do all the fun things!
He actually hasn't brought it up again but I know the conversation is brewing so I want to be prepared!

I do 1 mid-week night eg Wednesday & EOW from school pickup on Friday through to Monday morning.

It means the weekends are shared equally and it gives me a break one night during the week.

Ahhh so you do a mid week sleep every week? I just feel like my son would be too all over the place with that... one week it's almost like a different house every 2 nights isn't it?

Don't let him have every weekend as means you get all the juggling school work running around and he gets all the downtime no way that's fair .

Yes that's how I feel. I know atm he's got the Sunday and Sunday night but that's what he agreed to because it worked around his work. I'm happy to discuss alternating but I don't want to get into a pattern where my son is somewhere different every few nights because I just know that doesn't work for him or me!

No you should get some weekend time too. And he has to make his school runs work just like you have to.

My stbxh has our girls eow fri 6pm to sun 6pm. That is it. He chose to move just over an hour away so doesn't see them during the week despite the offer for him to come and take them out to tea every so often.

It's pretty rough being the parent with 85% of the responsibility but Im hopeful it will settle down soon

It does depend on DC's personality. DD has had same pattern for 6 years, which is as you say - a couple of nights then change, but she is okay, and doesn't want to change her routine.

In school time we do
Fri-Sun Dad
Sun evening, Mon, Tues Mum
Weds, Thurs, Dad
Fri-Mon Mum
Mon - Dad
Tues, Weds, Thurs, Mum
and repeat

I suggested every Thursday Dad, and EOW, and Weds at Dad's on the non- weekend week (basically same as now except swap Monday for Thursday). This would mean one fewer changeover but yes a little longer between times at Dad's. But DD wants to keep the structure she has now known for ages (except for school holidays which have longer periods at each house).