Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Variations in %split of marital assets

20 replies

whoknowsyou · 24/09/2021 14:11

Please could you share with me the way the marital assets were split (rough %age split) when you divorced and why.

For information, here's why I'm asking...
I'm going to be getting divorced. I'm looking at what the financial outcome might be and being told that all assets should be totted up and then allocated so that each of us gets 50%.

Planning to stay in the marital home as I'll have the kids with me for at least another 4 years. I'll eat my best beanie hat if any of them ever want to stay overnight with him post divorce, but daytime contact will be arranged and facilitated. I will remain the default parent for anything related to the kids (all teens so angsty and expensive times for parents).

Despite having (IMHO) a very good salary, my career plateaued when we had children such that I was always the lower earner thereafter as we needed the flexibility of someone able to work round the kids, sorting childcare, dealing with illnesses and basically anything child/home related and this was a definite obstacle to career advancement, no staying late to finish something, no working too far away from home with long commutes etc (plus H would not have been happy or supportive as his opinion was always that my job was too full-on, I should step down to a lower/part-time role).

I'm of an age now whereby it's patently obvious that in the next 7 or 8 years prior to retirement, I'll never get to where, I reasonably assume, I could have done if I hadn't put career on back-burner for family reasons. Note this was done because H and I wanted the kids to have me more readily available given the very long hours and travelling he did whilst progressing in his career.

It's also become obvious that my parents now need more of my time too which is not compatible with working ridiculous hours to try and climb to the next couple of rungs of the career ladder. I'm no spring chicken, menopause hit me hard, I can't compete with the energy of a 30 year old when I'm old enough to be their mum.

Between now and retirement H has the ability to earn much more than me and I helped him be in that position because I kept everything going at home over the years.

Given that I won't be able to earn as much as he could between now and retirement, would I be unreasonable to hope for a larger share of the assets to compensate so that by retirement we're pretty much even ?

It might seem grabby to be asking but a friend explained it as......
"He'll be leaving the marriage with 50% of the assets plus his earning capacity, you'd be leaving with the other 50% but an earning capacity £20,000 p.a. lower than his and it's not realistic to think you can close that gap between now and retirement."

OP posts:
ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 24/09/2021 14:18

What are the assets and what are they worth?

whoknowsyou · 24/09/2021 14:35

Just looking for people to share what their % split was when they divorced really @ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

OP posts:
ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 24/09/2021 14:37

Oh ok. Well I got 50%. Similar circumstances to you.

whoknowsyou · 24/09/2021 15:04

Even though you had the children with you ? @ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

OP posts:
PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 24/09/2021 15:07

53/47

Pre kids I earned 80% what he did
Post divorce I earn 20% of his earnings

He feels very badly-done-to over the 3% though

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 24/09/2021 15:15

Yes I had 3 dependant children at the time. 50% was plenty though.

whoknowsyou · 24/09/2021 15:53

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

I'm deducing therefore that 50% for him as the NRP was a lot more than plenty, or though possibly he didn't see it that way.

OP posts:
OnceUponAThread · 25/09/2021 01:48

If you are keeping the FMH - what are his housing needs and how much capital does he have to meet them. (Bear in mind that a court will say he needs bedrooms for them etc, even if you think they won't stay).

If he needs a mortgage - how much will that be, and does he have a deposit.

How much is CMS?

Are you equalising pensions?

(You need answers to all those questions because if CMS + mortgage gives him a lower take home than you then the balance will shift in his favour).

OnceUponAThread · 25/09/2021 01:49

By for them, I mean for the kids.

Youcancallmeval · 25/09/2021 01:53

50/50. House was sold. He earned significantly more than me, I was part time. One child.

thislifetoo · 25/09/2021 02:00

62/38% in my favour. Assets were house and jointly owned business. I'm a sahm to two small children and lost earning capacity through that and following him around country for his job prior to children. He got 100% of (very profitable) business and I got 80% of equity of family home, not sold but held on trust with him paying mortgage and bills until youngest is in secondary school.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 25/09/2021 15:42

62% to me. One DC has a disability, so despite the fact that both DC were over 18 when we divorced, I had hardly worked due to caring responsibilities (exh worked long hours and would not have taken any time off for sick children, hospital and therapy appointments. He was a dick). Disabled DC is now in supported living and I work and earn a fifth of ex's salary.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 25/09/2021 15:43

I got a large share of the pensions too, and spousal maintenance for 10 years.

whoknowsyou · 05/10/2021 12:45

Thanks for sharing everyone.

The way H is behaving at the moment he's the one hoping for a larger share of assets.

OP posts:
BasicDad · 05/10/2021 22:01

Pretty much 50:50 assets. Spousal 3 years. XW ordered to sell martial home. Child lives with me.

Both had housing needs.

1ranksenior · 09/10/2021 09:03

Just to hook on to your thread OP, I'm interested in one person getting a greater % if the other has a reduced life expectancy due to life-limiting illness?

AmanitaRubescens · 09/10/2021 09:25

DSis got 70% equity from house sale.
They shared the kids 50:50
Her H got to keep his pension in tact.

Mmmmdanone · 09/10/2021 09:36

Have you each had your pension cetv calculated? These are usually the biggest assets next to the house and to be taken into account when splitting.

OnceUponAThread · 12/10/2021 10:59

@thislifetoo

62/38% in my favour. Assets were house and jointly owned business. I'm a sahm to two small children and lost earning capacity through that and following him around country for his job prior to children. He got 100% of (very profitable) business and I got 80% of equity of family home, not sold but held on trust with him paying mortgage and bills until youngest is in secondary school.
Confused by how this is 62% in your favour if he kept the very profitable business all to himself? Did you get all the pensions?
RainSunflower0ct0ber · 13/10/2021 10:18

Will he have elderly parents to support too ?

Ongoing support of children, yes

Your parents are not his responsibility & vica versa

New posts on this thread. Refresh page