Hi,
We have a 6 year old (with high functioning ASD) and 11 year old daughters.
My husband said in June on two occasions that he is planning to divorce definitely. I only received his draft petition in Aug. And earlier this week his solicitor wrote to say that they have now applied for Decree Nisi and we should soon start mediation - it’s all very overwhelming for me. That’s another story.
Our children don’t know at all. Eldest may have an idea that things aren’t what they should be.
If this process is only starting now and it could be 8-12 months, when do I tell the children? The important thing is that it looks like he has no intention to move out. In June he said he was going to move out as soon as possible. But now, not any more (it’s clear he got advice somewhere not to do so).
If nothing looks “strange” to the children and they won’t see any movement or changes for a long time, when is a good time to tell them?
I’m especially concerned for my youngest and her needs. She won’t understand at all and will be very confused if daddy only moves out (or us or whatever changes) in a year from now. That’s a lifetime to her.
The sad thing to me, is that I have slept on the floor on a mattress in either of the children’s rooms or the living room downstairs for quite a few months. A long time. And because I don’t make a fuss of this and it’s been happening for quite a long time, they sort of see this as normal. Which is certainly not normal. I hate that they get the impression that it’s ok for mum to sleep on a mattress somewhere in the house.
Please advise when I should tell the children, especially if he is now going to move out any time soon.
Thanks