What reasons to divorce currently ?

[GoodnightGrandma]

I’ve had enough, should have gone a year or so when I had grounds, I believe you can’t use an incident after 12 months ?
I don’t even want to argue about it, I just want out. He’s a nice kind man, but after 33 years I want to be myself.
What grounds can you use ?

Currently unreasonable behaviour, but I think next year no fault divorce is coming in. You can separate now and sort the divorce after.

Is there something about needing 5 different things to proceed ?

no fault divorce expected from April

@GoodnightGrandma

Is there something about needing 5 different things to proceed ?

No - you need to show irretrievable breakdown of the marriage on one of five grounds:

Adultery
Dessertion
Unreasonable behaviour
2 years' separation and both parties agree to divorce
5 years' separation, agreement not necessary

www.gov.uk/divorce

Ok, thanks.

Will he agree to the divorce? If yes, you could agree to say you have been separated for 2 years and give a date 2 years ago.

But you'd have to explain why you'd still been living together - waiting for house sale etc.

Avoids having to try and pick reasons why one of you has been 'unreasonable' though as that can lead to acrimony.

Lying is not a good idea and it's also not necessary.

I had to give three examples it was surprisingly easy

@WeAreTheHeroes

Lying is not a good idea and it's also not necessary.

It sometimes can be much easier, my friend has had her divorce rejected three times because the judge wasn't satisfied with the unreasonable behaviour given. So backward.

Surprisingly easy for me - my solicitor said to list ‘the first, the worst, and the most recent’.

I also used the phrase ‘this made the petitioner realise the marriage was over’ or something similar several times to hammer home the point.

My NEx also said he had a new girlfriend and then refused divorce on the grounds of adultery… so on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour it was.

My advice, if you’re going to get divorced, crack on and do it to help you move on. I didn’t take this advice from my friends, and the rot has well and truly set in.

It can be something really insignificant - wouldn't watch the same TV programmes, never supported with the weekly shop etc. Agree with pp about noting that this left you feeling pushed out/alone/sad and you feel your marriage is beyond repair.

I didn't list dates and mine got approved last week, I did it online, very straightforward. Decree nisi being read end of October. My dh is very verbally abusive .

We’d been living separate lives (but in the same house) for almost 2 years. It was a sexless marriage for over 10 years. No connection.
I filed for divorce and said we’d been separated (but living together for the sake of the children) for 2 years. He didn’t argue when the papers arrived. He moved out shortly afterwards. The marriage was non-existent.
I can apply for decree absolute next week although hanging on until the financial order is in place.

@CosmicUnicorn I don't normally come to this board, but really need advice and your reply is exactly what I've been wondering about. We have had no physical relationship for over 10 years, live pretty much separate lives, but I didn't think you could count this as a two year separation if you still live together?? I am so confused by all of it, and have dithered for far too long now. Can I just go to a solicitor and tell them this?

@19Bears
Yes, you can still be separated and living in the same house. We were still living together when I filed for divorce but had been doing separate things for at least 2 years. The solicitor and court were quite happy with that. I think the sexless marriage for over a decade probably swayed the decision too!

Oh wow, thanks for that. I saw a solicitor nearly three bloody years ago and he made it all seem so impossible, and I kind of gave up. I need to find someone better I think!

@19Bears
I went with the Co-op group.