Separation

[Beelips]

Hi, I hope I can get some advice on practical matters around separation from someone more knowledgeable.
So…My husband and I have agreed to separate. We have one 12-year old DC. Joint mortgage on the house we are currently living in. We’ve discussed options and were going to sell and split the equity (I can’t afford to buy him out) but now he’s suggested for me to stay in the house, whilst we keep it in both names, he moves out into a rental (or his parents for a bit) and I continue paying mortgage by myself. Then in a few years’ time, we can revisit selling etc. All this would need to be done legally, I guess. Whilst amicable (apart from him not rushing anywhere and being fairly passive about arrangements), I don’t want to make a mistake and am wondering what our next steps are…? Do we each need a lawyer although we’ve pretty much agreed on things… ? Or how else to find out if the above is feasible and formalise it? I guess we will need to formalise our agreement re child arrangements etc too? I don’t want to unnecessarily pay lawyers/mediation fees as we are amicable…? Do I need to formally apply for divorce in order to get things moving?
Sorry if these are silly questions, I just seem to be completely overwhelmed with this kind of thing…

OP you can ask for your post to be moved to the divorce/separation board, you might find you get more advice there

Ah, ok. Thank you. I’ll see how that can be done…

If you carry on paying the mortgage by yourself, and he stays on it with no legal change in place, then you're just giving him half of the equity you've paid for by yourself.

At the very least you'll want to get a deed of trust drawn up to specify that his share stops at what it is now. But in all honesty, I think this plan is fraught with risk. You're very early on in the process, things are likely to get more difficult between you, and neither of you can predict exactly what your circumstances will be in a few years time. What if/when he wants to buy another house by himself? He'll be trying to force sale of yours to get his equity.

Woah ! He wants you to pay the mortgage and then he gets half in the future ? I don’t think so !

It’s quite common for one party to pay the mortgage then the other gets equity split - this is how a mesher works
If he’s paying market rate rent that’s fair
Arguable it’s also fair in the sense that his capital is tied up and ge can’t ‘invest’ in anything else

Re chid access, you do t have to have anything formalised if you are amicable and agree

What you need to understand is overall assets and how these should be split - might not be 50:50

It’s basically a mesher order and not unfair at all. However it can just kick the affordability issue down the line.

The benefits of a mesher order is that the OP should pay less than market rent and she has full benefit of the house. Her ex is deprived of living there, is paying more expensive rent and won’t be able to buy whilst his equity is tied up in the house. But his equity grows.

The downside is that the OP might be in no better place to buy in the future. As you get older you ability to get mortgages reduces. And although equity grows so do house prices.

Both the OP and her husband might be better off biting the bullet and downsizing now. Whilst they have the most earning years ahead of them.

Thank you everyone for your answers. It is very helpful and gives me some pointers. Sounds like what is needed is a mesher order if we decide to go down this route. I shall explore further

I have been separated from my husband of 27 years for 3 years now ( married 24 years prior to separation).
The house is paid for & he transferred the house over to me 2 years ago. We have an informal agreement that I wouldn’t touch his pension ( lump sum & annual pension) & he wouldn’t touch my pension ( worth considerably less than his).
We have a 14 year old child ( 11 when we separated). It’s all been very amicable until now.
What are the risks of this arrangement?