Child practicalities?

[helplesshopeless]

Hi all

Just in the process of finalising separation from my husband and am starting to think about the actual practicalities of how to share care for our daughter, in terms of the day to day things, such as:

Clothes and shoes - I'll obviously split her clothes between both houses and she can take whatever she wants between both, but surely it's not practical to only have, for example, one winter coat, one wetsuit, etc. thats ferried between houses several times a week? Do you duplicate? It seems a waste to buy double of main things like that but also daft and impractical to have to remember to transfer every possible weather-suitable item between houses.

Similar query for things like bicycle, scooter, helmet - is it easier just to have one in each house?!

What do you tell them for Christmas - this year she will be with her dad on Christmas Eve, wake up there, then come to me for Christmas dinner and Boxing Day. We'll flip it next year. Not sure whether to tell her Father Christmas will visit both houses, and whether it's fair to expect her to wait until evening to see her presents from me if we go to my parents for Christmas dinner, as an example.

School holidays (not an issue until next year for me) - do you agree different care arrangements for non-term time or just utilise holiday clubs and carry on as normal?

I know this will vary per family and child, but I'm just looking for some inspiration or tips on the best way to manage this and what else I might need to think about.

Thanks in advance!

It's a mixture of duplication, shutting things about, trying to be organised around a schedule and last minute oh fuck panics.

Once the kids are around 10-11, shared care kids start to get a bit more organised with their stuff, even if they don't ever remember to turn the f'n lights off! 😅

From experience I'd say it all depends on how reliable your ex is. There''s no point thinking that it's a waste of money duplicating everything, then finding that he "forgets" to send back her coat / wetsuit etc and then you've got nothing. Better to suck it up and get those duplicates for your peace of mind.

Same with bicycles etc , it's too much trouble transporting these things unless you have a big vehicle and you are super-organised.

Father Christmas used to come to both our houses . So the kids got something to open at each house from FC, and then got their "family" gifts when they were at that house. We both agreed that it was unfair for FC to only come to one house , and the kids were happy with that arrangement and thought that FC was very nice and generous.

I think a level of duplication, certainly in bigger things like vines, computes, xboxes etc is the best way. Not only are they too much if a faff To take, it also helps child feel like they are at home, rather than a visitor and helps them feel at home in both houses

Thanks everyone, that all makes sense. I guess it's one of those things where I have to work it out as I go along and see how it works for us!