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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Flip

Original poster

Communication with ex

9 replies

toddlingabout · 05/09/2021 17:31

How do you communicate with your kids other parent? I have left it up until now as any ie Text, Phone, WhatsApp etc, but after a weekend from hell of just being bombarded with messages I need a better way of being able to discuss the kids without it being such a time sink, distraction from my life and zapping all my energy. How do you do it?

OP posts:

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 06/09/2021 15:09

How old are the kids?

Original poster

toddlingabout · 06/09/2021 15:48

16 and 12

OP posts:

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 06/09/2021 20:40

OK. well at that age I would expect them to be doing a lot of the communication themselves and for mum to be doing a minimum amount of conversation with the ex.

What exactly is he asking you that he can't ask the kids?

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 06/09/2021 20:45

Once ds started secondary I stopped any contact with exh. Once dd got to 12 he went nc with him also.

kitkatsky · 06/09/2021 20:46

We WhatsApp now but at the beginning when things were fraught I insisted on emails so I could prepare myself before opening and have people around. I've also muted his WhatsApp so I can just look at messages when I want to.m but hoping by time DD is as old as yours I won't have to speak to him at all

Cloverforever · 06/09/2021 20:56

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

OK. well at that age I would expect them to be doing a lot of the communication themselves and for mum to be doing a minimum amount of conversation with the ex.

What exactly is he asking you that he can't ask the kids?

The trouble with that is when they forget to pass messages on or get it wrong. Has caused me big issues in the past.

Marmight · 07/09/2021 19:23

Set up a new email address just for him. This means that you control when you look at the messages
Block him on text / WhatsApp after telling him to use the new email addy.
You can unblock him on ONE messaging app when he has the kids so he can contact you in emergency.

Job done!

waterSpider · 08/09/2021 07:23

Use email.
Don't use children as messengers.

unicornsarereal72 · 08/09/2021 07:55

What is it that he is communicating?

If it's about finances tell
Him to go through your solicitor

If it's about contact set up a good routine. Collect sat at nine. Etc. Only communicate if there is a change in the arrangements

Child support through CMS no negotiable.

Don't engage with anything that you don't have too. Kids are old enough to have a phone he if free to maintain contact with them without go through you.

It has taken Time but this is my set up.

Flip