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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Anyone better off with 50/50 split?

1 reply

Joanne2015 · 05/09/2021 10:27

I’m pretty sure my relationship is over. I’m just trying to work out ways to logistically share custody of our 3 kids. In a way I feel like life will be easier if I have time away from them than it currently is living as a family. Not sure if my rose tinted glasses are on though. At the moment we have 6 yr old twins and a 5 yr old, it’s hard work and we have no babysitters or family close by. The relationship is over, I’ve told him and he wants me to give him a chance to change things, however I feel I’m just going along with that to give him time to process it all. I think if we did 50/50 2,2,3 split I’d be happier and a better parent than I am now. Anyone doing this and feeling the benefits?

OP posts:
Yellowcrockpot · 05/09/2021 10:36

I do 50/50. Week on, week off.
There's times where I absolutely hate it, there's times when Im ok with it.
You loose alot of time with you child. My DS is 7 and I've been doing this since about 2, when you ex finds a new partner - she may have alot to do/say in terms of your child.
My exs wife has alot of sway at school, takes over things that I, as a mother, should do, makes parental decisions etc. Doesn't help we don't actually get on - but we muddle through.
I miss my child all the time.

The silver linings are of course, plenty of adult time, going out, time for relationships, hangovers, eating out, work etc etc, but it really isn't all fun and games.

If you can cope with loosing half your time with your child, missing out on events and giving 50% of your "rights" to someone else - including your ex's potential next partner, carry on.

If I could have my time over I wouldn't do it this way.

Two households who parent very differently makes for a difficult behaviour from the child sometimes too - I am lucky, my DS is very good and handles it all very well - but things and the lifestyle my ex has him in, is very different to the way I bring him up, and he has to constantly switch between two expectations of behaviour.

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