Is there a magic formula? Divorce finances

[MamaFriend]

Hi
Looking for any advice on my situation.
The story so far:
In Jan, I found out my husband of 19 years (26 together) had been having an affair through lockdown. He left the following day and moved in with her about a month later. I was (still am) devastated. We have a 17 year old.
I hoped we could do the finances amicably. But I then found out he had lied about the Christmas bonus he had received (£3k instead of £500) which he had squirrelled away in a secret account. I instructed a solicitor. 6 months later and the solicitor has downed tools as I can’t pay her bill (although I’m selling the house with the same firm so they know I will have the money soon).

So I am now faced with trying to resolve it myself. Is there a formula or ANY description that helps guide people into what their best offer should be. I didn’t even get to the offer stage with the solicitor - just picking apart statements and filling out the Form E.
History: I work and make £30k. He works and makes £46k but the last couple of years he has had £5k pay increases.
There is equity in the house. His pension is considerably more than mine.
Oh and he has actually siphoned off £8k.

Any advice gratefully received
Thanks

Have you tried mediation? I’m going through this process, it’s cheaper than solicitors. In fact I believe the courts insist on it if both parties are unable to agree finances amicably, between themselves. The mediator is impartial, they collate your financials, eh; pensions, savings, investments ,property, and help you navigate splitting assets for the consent order, it’s worth looking into.

It’s impossible for anyone to guide you. But nothing in your post suggests this wouldn’t be heading towards an equal split. Your child is almost an adult, you both have careers and I assume there is a decent pot of equity.

I would second mediation unless you think there are big pots of savings gone missing. Tbh, he doesn’t earn that much to be in a position to hide 10’s of thousands.

Otherwise you are potentially spending thousands on solicitors to chase more or less the same amount. If you have evidence of a separate account then use it in mediation to offset something.

Mediation will get you in the ballpark for your circumstances. Then get advice from a solicitor on the proposed deal.

I agree with PP - couldn't you just go 50/50?

If you’ve not got money to chase him, I’d take 50% and get rid of him from your life.

Yes - 50/50 unless there are specific reasons to deviate from that. Plus child maintenance, though that's only till child is 18.

Agree with others
You earn, he earns, neither are high earners, your child is practically an adult,
All you need is pensions valuations, and then split those plus house 50:50
Should be quite straightforward really