Mediation - can ex's solicitor change agreement?

[Bluee1994]

Hi

We attended mediation a few weeks ago, we came to an agreement in regards to contact for our son. Ex husband was ordered to see him every week rather than whenever he feels like it

During the sessions, he agreed and said he's happy and can commit.

The mediator said the document she has sent us both, with what we agreed is the agreement and it is legally binding because mediation was court ordered

Now my ex husband is ringing me saying 'my solicitor needs to write it in his own words and change it up abit' - can he do this when we came to an agreement during mediation? I really thought all this was over. I no longer have a solicitor and am dreading it going back and forth again

Well yes
A solicitors agreement isn’t anything really
Nothing is final unless court ordered

What are you actually disagreeing about re children ? Unfortunately you can’t order him to see the children every week, even if that access is in a court order. They won’t make him stick to it,

What change does he want to make?

He doesn't want it to state that he will come every week at the given time.
He was the one who applied to court for access for his immigration file (he needed a court ordered arrangement as part of his requirements to apply to remain in the UK)

Now he has realised he cannot do every week and wants to carry on with showing up when he can be bothered. Its unfair as he will randomly message and expect me to show up with our son

Thats why the mediator suggested some structure which he now is annoyed about.

Just worried now his solicitor will be putting unreasonable points like he did before (going from supervised contact for 1 hour only for a duration of 6 weeks..to overnight stays the next month)

And then it will end up going to court

I had a solicitor before and it went back and forth for 6 months costing me £1600. The end result was that no agreement was reached, and we ended up in Mediation where finally there was a structured agreement....which he now wants changed back to his terms after we paid £100 each for the mediator to make an agreement

Agreements made during mediation alone aren't legally binding. You actually need this to go to court so you have an order otherwise this will go on and on. You can self represent in court.

The real problem is he sounds useless so even if the court order states he comes for 3hours every Wednesday and EOW. He can simply stop. If he doesnt want to see the child then he is scum but you can't make him. Get it noted that you wont make up missed time at a later date and the child will only be available these times. Keep a record of each missed visit, refuse all changes and then let immigration know how much he actually sees his child.

Even if there is a court order regarding contact, it obligates the parent with care to make the child available for contact. It doesn't obligate the non-resident parent to actually take up all the contact offered.

I would tell him that if he wishes to change it then you go back to mediation to ensure it is settled properly in the best interests of your child who has the right to a stable routine.