Considering continuing without lawyer

[MacadamiaMarge]

I’m currently divorcing my husband and we’ve recently had the FDA.

Up to this point (including filing, applying for the nisi, completing voluntary Forms E, having the FDA and engaging a pensions expert), I have spent around £30,000 on legal fees.

He has been very difficult and untruthful about a lot of things so there has been a lot of back and forth which I am obviously paying for every time.

He is barely seeing our children and refused to pay maintenance until the FDA (nearly a year post-separation/filing). He said this was because he was still paying the mortgage on the family home despite having moved out, but he had applied for a mortgage holiday so wasn’t actually paying it. He is a high-earner (salary c£150,000).

I anticipate that negotiations will not go well and we will end up back in court. He has moved in with a woman who is much younger than him and I think he is keen to have a clean financial break and get as much money as he can from the divorce to buy a house with her (to keep her).

Having said that, there is not a huge amount to split, in terms of assets (£300,000 equity and his pension), so it’s really going to be a matter of how the children will be housed (live in London, large mortgage, I’m not a high earner). He has lost large amounts of money since the split.

Would I be crazy to let my legal team go and represent myself from here on in? I don’t want to be taking loans out to pay lawyers fees, when there is so little to go round as it is. I have now used the last of my savings.

Has anyone done it themselves and found it to be ok?

My first experience of court was not good. In the FDA the judge was awful and sided with him when I felt it was wrong (eg said he didn’t have to disclose where money went, didn’t have to explain bank accounts that we had no disclosure for, said he didn’t have to say whether he was cohabiting, etc).

I just can’t bear to receive another bill for £1000’s and see my childrens’ future opportunities and experiences disappear.

I would be really grateful for anyone’s opinions on this.

What a piece of shit, why the fuck should his children move into unstable rented accommodation?! How old are they?

The children are 7 and 8. So a while to go until they leave home.

It wouldn’t be possible for me to afford to buy or rent in our current area. I would have to move quite a way away I think to afford it. To me I don’t think we can afford a clean break, but I don’t know what the courts see as reasonable.

I doubt that my solicitor does pay as you go, but I could probably find one who does.

@MacadamiaMarge

The children are 7 and 8. So a while to go until they leave home.

It wouldn’t be possible for me to afford to buy or rent in our current area. I would have to move quite a way away I think to afford it. To me I don’t think we can afford a clean break, but I don’t know what the courts see as reasonable.

I doubt that my solicitor does pay as you go, but I could probably find one who does.

Courts will put children's needs first. They don't like children being moved from owned home into unstable rented accommodation as I understand it. Hopefully that gives you more argument for a Mesher. Your STBEX may well want this and that, but if that's at the expense of his children, that's not good!

Happy to give you details of my PAYG solicitor if that would help?

Have you had a pension valuation ?

@noideawhatusernametochoose, yes please, that would be really helpful. Thank you!

@millymollymoomoo We are getting a pension valuation but it hasn’t been completed yet. I imaging that will be a big factor in negotiations going forwards.

[quote MacadamiaMarge]@noideawhatusernametochoose, yes please, that would be really helpful. Thank you![/quote]
Hi, have pmd you the details. Hope it's useful for you.

[quote MacadamiaMarge]@millymollymoomoo We are getting a pension valuation but it hasn’t been completed yet. I imaging that will be a big factor in negotiations going forwards.[/quote]
Be warned, it can take a few months! But worth doing :)