Unfair? Ex wiped off his student debt before divorce

[sallysm]

I'm shortly about to start divorce, and in discussion with the Ex about finances/savings, he says whilst we've been separated for a year, he's paid off his significant size student loan debt (from before our relationship/marriage), which has devoid me a share of his savings (which is almost nothing now) for upcoming financial settlement.

This hasn't impacted me so far, he has been fine with paying child maintenance and incidentals, and pays the mortgage for the home I live in (I'm not eligible be taken on for the mortgage so he deducts this payment from my total CM)

He says the reason he paid off his debt, is because with that remaining as a commitment, he will not be able to secure a mortgage for a place to live in himself, or at least, it significantly reduces the amount he can borrow. He also says that education, which he is still paying for monthly, helped get him his career, which has been funding our lives. He also says I can probably continue to live in the FMH for the next 15+ years until our child is 18, as the mortgage cost is far lower than if I rented, so long as he can continue deducting it from CM. So he says now, the priority is on him securing a place to live himself.

So how should I feel about this? Should I ask the court (if we cannot agree) for a higher percentage of equity in the FMH, to take into account that he has craftily paid off suddenly his student loan debt? Or is that the type of thing which will end up in lots of expensive arguing with solicitors, and possibly negate the a good part of the cost.

He could have waited until after divorce, and continued for a few years to pay off that debt... I think its unfair that he did it right now. I'm not sure if it counts as unfairly disposing of money though, as it was a debt that had to be repaid at somepoint. Just not right now.

What's your opinion?

@Idontgiveagriffindamn

You seem determined to rinse this man for all he has whilst doing nothing to support you. Even with what you’ve put in your OP you’re getting a good deal. Just because you are a woman and a mother does not entitle you to a free life. I honestly can’t believe you’re back on here again

this 👆 get some self respect, a job and provide for yourself

Sounds reasonable that he would use his savings to pay off debt, especially if its saving accrued while living separately.
He could have put the money straight into the debt every month without it ever hitting a savings account, he's just done it all at the end is all.

Those who wonder if these unreasonable first wife types exist and doubt that other women behave in such a way, this is a good example of what will become a future first wife.

I struggle to believe it's a woman and not a MRA with an agenda tbh

Sounds sensible to me. Ok he had the debt before you met/married but only had one house to support. Now he has your home plus he has to find somewhere for him to live and have his child

@bg21

you sound grabby

@bg21Exactly. This is very embarrassing get a job!

@sallysm

His savings, accrued whilst living separately, would normally be added into the pot for sharing I understand. He should be putting them on a Form E. But I don't think he would have put his student debt on there, had he retained it.

Why not? Surely he would be mad not to?

@bg21

you sound grabby

This.

Why don't you get a job?

He's allowed to spend his own savings on his own debts. I honestly think yabu for wanting half of his savings while he pays for the mortgage and still adequately supports his child.

Most women would kill for a divorce settlement this good...
all assets become conjoined when married, it works both ways, so does the debt.

@bg21

you sound grabby

Doesn't she just

Get some self respect OP. Or a job

If anybody wonders why some men (or sometimes women even) dont want to commit to marriage) the answer is here.

Sounds like a good deal to me, and ultimately if you keep being so grabby you're just taking what could be used to help and support your child.

You don't need more from him. Get a job and support yourself like everyone else has to.

s. He also says I can probably continue to live in the FMH for the next 15+ years until our child is 18, as the mortgage cost is far lower than if I rented, so long as he can continue deducting it from CM.

If he remarried and has further children will the CM still cover the mortgage.?
How can he guarantee 15 years of payment, what if he loses his job, falls under a bus?
Personally I'd like to spend the CM as I saw fit, a 15 year promise is too long.

Would you be better off if that amount was split and he sold house and you had to pay for that mortgage yourself?

His savings, accrued whilst living separately, would normally be added into the pot for sharing I understand.

Let me guess, you think it’s fair that the money your ex has saved since you’ve been living separately is shared with you but you don’t want to share the student debt he has amassed before you married 🤔

Get a job OP and stop leaching off this poor man.

I struggle to believe it's a woman and not a MRA with an agenda tbh

Of course, women are incapable of behaving like twats so it must be a Trojan horse operation by an MRA.

OP

You sound like a leech.

Stop trying to take advantage of your ex.

You sound exactly like the type of person who would weaponise the child as well.

You sound grabby.

He can use HIS savings that HE’S worked for how he wishes.

We aren’t in the 1950’s where the man provides and the little woman stays at home while the man pays for everything. He pays maintenance (as he should), incidentals, your mortgage (I can’t see that lasting the 15 years).

Women aren’t entitled to a free ride because they birthed a child. Get yourself a job and start providing for yourself.