Husband wants separation but says will provide financial support

[sud78]

A friend of mine.. been married over 20 years and has 3 kids .. 2 girls who are adults and studying/working and 1 boy 17yo. Husband has always been undermining of anything she does ..always discouraging her from working and becoming independent.. or even learning English fluently..

Anyways..cut short to present day.. he wants to leave because as per him she hasn't been a good wife or mum. He does not want to divorce (yet) and he says he will pay rent and her living expenses .. does she need to ensure in some form of paperwork that he will definitely pay? What if he stops paying her living costs...can she do something?

There is not much hope of reconciliation as he has made up his mind..

She'd be better off going to a SHL and divorcing the fucker. He wants her to be dependent on him and to feel superior to her aka not supporting her to learn English properly.

She should not tell him of any of what she plans though. And she needs to act swiftly. Also needs to make sure she has enough cash and documents all their accounts. The first he knows of this should be via the lawyer, in the meantime, try to slow him down, but not stop him, if that's possible.

I'm sure someone will be along with more detailed advice but I can't see any scenario in which she's going to be overall better off by seriously accepting to be at his mercy.

@daretodenim thanks.. what is SHL? Her husband hasn't ever given any money except for groceries .. so she doesn't have much resources at hand.. can she get free legal advice?

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Shit Hot Lawyer I'd have said

Shit Hot Lawyer

She should start divorce proceedings and look for a job. The sooner she's not dependent on him financially the sooner she will free of his controlling and abusive ways.