Living in the same home

[sum15]

I don't think I can afford to move out. He won't leave so I'm just stuck in this misery. Is anyone else having to do this because of money?

We are separated (don't know how to clarify this other than to say definitely not together) and he still pays bills but I pay for food. How am I ever going to get out? He's a controlling person so loves that I have to rely on him for financial help. He earns well but this has an effect on what I can claim ie child benefits have to be paid back. I have to pay for prescriptions, dentist, glasses. Can I claim anything in my own right even though I'm still living in the same house but definitely not together. We are still married and the mortgage is joint, kids are 12&17.

I don't have any answers for you but I am in the same boat. We are treading around each other on eggshells.

I've just finished work for the day and don't want to go home, just parked up.

Are their children involved?

How old are you?

Do you work?

Hopefully with a bit of background, we can help

12&17 yr old boys
I work average 30hrs a week but often do more. I'm m 41.

It's miserable for me. I want to leave but really don't want to uproot my boys, I also don't want to leave them. What sort of mother does that?! I'm really at the end of my tether , struggling mentally with the way my husband treats me, he's cruel, I'm being forced to chose to stay like this or leave my boys, it's destroying me. It's hard to put on a happy face at work but it is nice to have a break from the doom at home.

Same situation but without children. It’s horrible and I just want this over with!

I am in the exact same situation. I can't afford to move out. Seperated and living in the same house. We have 6 year old.
I am living on misery, constantly walking on egg shells.
If dd6 is naughty and I try to discipline we get into an argument/disagreement.
I am at the end of my tether

Same situation. I don't want to seperate. Dw does.
I can't afford to move out.
Have a 6 year old daughter, who just comes between us all the time.
Living in complete misery and torn..
Torn as don't want to leave dd6 and don't want the seperation to happen.

I am at the end of my tether

Does any of your children try to come between you both?
Ours does. If I tell dd6 off for behaviour she goes running to my x and we get into a disagreement

My husband lets my children do what they want, he leaves me to be the voice of reason. I'm the baddy all the time. He allows them to play computer games(with him) all evening up until bedtime. This has resulted in my children spending almost no time with me and are only interested in me at meal times or if they want something. This is not how We brought them up, it's a consequence of my husband's behaviour.

You need to seriously consider whether moving into a one bed house/flat would be preferable - it probably would be tbh or even a shared house.

What you can do is start divorce proceedings and the marital assets will have to be split and it will enable you to move out.

What an awful situation for us all to be in. It's just so sad.
I am too scared to move out. I can't afford it, so would worry about money. Then would worry about seeing my daughter.
Also, I don't want to split and cry almost everyday. But it's an awful situation for us to live this way

@RandomMess

You need to seriously consider whether moving into a one bed house/flat would be preferable - it probably would be tbh or even a shared house.

What you can do is start divorce proceedings and the marital assets will have to be split and it will enable you to move out.

I've been considering this also. We could own a flat that we rent out. I wouldn't be able to afford mortgage and bills on my own. Would have to consider renting spare room out to help with living costs.

I don't feel brave enough to do leave

@sum15

My husband lets my children do what they want, he leaves me to be the voice of reason. I'm the baddy all the time. He allows them to play computer games(with him) all evening up until bedtime. This has resulted in my children spending almost no time with me and are only interested in me at meal times or if they want something. This is not how We brought them up, it's a consequence of my husband's behaviour.

Hello. How is the situation for you now?

Mine is still unbearable. Looking at possibly moving out