Hi, looking for a bit advice or opinion. I have been married for just over 4 years, my husband works away 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off.
We bought a new house a couple of years ago, my husband thought it would be a good thing to do to take my mind off losing my Mother at the start of that year.
We have had to do everything to the house and it is still going on and is very difficult to live through.
As I had no savings and a bad credit of a previous relationship the house and mortgage is all in his name and to be honest he pays for most of the renovation. (I still pay towards the mortgage etc)
However I keep the house clean, tidy, cook, wash and iron etc aswell as hold down a stressful full time job.
When he is home he sits and sleeps in the spare room. This started off him just sleeping in there as I snore but now he watches TV in there on a night time and weekends when he is home. I sit alone downstairs.
We rarely have sex, when we do I have to dress up which I now find demeaning.
He is very anal about the house being kept clean and tidy even though the spare room he sits in is often a pig sty and when he goes back to work I clean and tidy it up after him.
He has had cctv fitted in the front and back garden, so even though I'm not doing anything wrong I feel as though I'm being spied on.
Weekend gone he was home, Friday I finished work and came home, cleaned for 2 hours then on the Saturday after I had finished mopping the hallway he spoke to me like a child as there was a mark on our kitchen unit, then he started to complain that I'd used his new blender without asking and I had damaged the box.
He says he puts all his money into the house and comes home and things are damaged. This is not true. I feel worthless.
He often describes it as 'his house'
Don't get me wrong he's not all bad but I am honestly thinking about leaving, getting somewhere of my own where I can feel relaxed and not cleaning 24/7 to keep him happy and walking on eggshells when he's home thinking that I'm going to get wrong for something.
I feel lonely in my marriage, I think I love him but I am very sad.
I am still grieving for my Mother too, especially through times like these.
Any advice would be appreciated