Bloody Sunday and the world is in couples!

[Suburbanqueen]

I know they aren't but I have always hated Sundays. Just taken the dog for a walk and 95% of my friends are married and very supportive but I don't want to intrude on their weekend. I feel so lonely and angry and bitter. I am starting a new job next week and I have to get a grip on myself and get fitter and healthier, borderline diabetic. I don't know how to find the strength for this at my age.

Ah well, I'm retired and most of my friends are single as they've been widowed or got divorced or split up or never really went there in the first place in some cases. What do all my friends have in common? They are strong, well developed women with a background of all kinds of interests and careers and adventurous life experiences. They are generous, compassionate, involved in life, involved in the local community, know how to have fun and how to support and love each other. All sexual and romantic relationships come to a physical end. Each and every one involves physical separation at some point.

I bet some people who are in a couple are wistfully thinking what it would be like to have a Sunday by themselves

The grass isn't always greener.
How many lawyers and solicitors would be out of a job if a relationship guaranteed happiness?
I don't rely on anyone else for my happiness, and it puts you in a really powerful situation because your not clutching at straws, your not putting up with any crap, you have peace of mind, and you learn a lot more about yourself and life than you would tethered to someone else.
Learn to love your freedom, it's priceless.

How about reframing it as “People who are happy on Sundays?”

You can’t magically change your relationship status but you could do something about getting yourself into a happier place… what brings you joy that you could regularly do? Or could you take up something new, a hobby or project of some kind?

I do hear ya, but sometimes you gotta fix what you can rather than fixate on what you can’t.

Anything nice you could do for yourself now? Download a new book, nip to the shops and buy yourself something treat-y for dinner etc?

You're all absolutely right of course. Early days for me after 30 years with dh. I was just having a moment. I'm at work until 10pm now so distracted!

You’re allowed a wobble! Sorry if that didn’t come across. Im glad you’ve got distraction for a bit now though

OP I get it, I felt the same at a campsite with my kids a few weeks ago: all families and I was the only single parent.

But I reminded myself of my freedom: hols with STBXH were stressful and I was always on his schedule. It does take courage, doesn’t it. Feel free to give me a PM on here on a Sunday. On this one I’m by myself, but enjoying looking up redecoration ideas for my house.

Wobbles are normal, too. xx

Can I join this motivational chat please? I too am wobbling. Two years on from a separation. I'm lonely. Finding it difficult to get motivated. The initial support of friends has dwindled. Everybody is busy. I miss my workmates' company because we are all working from home. I don't miss the arsey ex. But I miss the idea of it. It's easy to observe others and think that everything is rosy.

Yes, I keep reminding myself that 50% of marriages end in divorce. That kind of cheers me up. . Earlgrey and Mammamia. I shall pm you Earl if needed and same for you. No, I know in the end I will be more at peace when my miserable, whingeing, narcissistic bully of a stbx is gone but it would just have been nice to have found a decent life companion by my age! I think I'll stick to cats. They may be arsey but at least they're beautiful.

I feel like this ! I feel embarrassed telling people I’m lonely but I am. I was used to working full time and running a family home and whilst my job is still busy and demanding but from home I really struggle with living on my own. I find the nights very long and I’m absolutely dreading the winter .

I have just separated ,after 20 years, and was feeling like this a few weeks ago then I remembered ex never wanted to do anything on a Sunday anyway . He just wanted to watch sport on TV and if he had to attend an event or family function he would sit there with a face like a smacked bum. I am going to start enjoying the freedom to do what I choose and not rushing back to make someone’s dinner . I am quite lucky in that I still go into work during the week so if I just want to do nothing on Sundays I will. I also treat myself to something lovely to eat. When I moved I brought lots of stuff with me I don’t really need so I try to E bay a few things each Sunday and declutter a bit .

I remember feeling like this and a couple of years ago I was talking to a friend about how hard I’d found weekends and she was shocked-she said she’d never have thought of it as me intruding on their weekend and that it would have been nice to see me rather than just do the same old stuff every week. Although now my partner works sundays and I still don’t like to intrude on other people’s weekends so never ask anyone to meet on a Sunday 😳

Yes, it is just a day after all. I am dreading the winter too but will have to grit my teeth. I will try to have some kind of plan from now on.

I am newly separated and feel exactly the same!! Everywhere you look are happy couples or families, I too find Sundays the worst day of the week.

Another weekend looms. Massive row with my son who has contributed no end to the car crash of the marriage. He has buggered off somewhere. God knows where....he has no friends down here and he suffers from depression. I think I am at the end of the road. Bastard of a husband and a selfish, lazy son who thinks I exist merely to let him lie in bed all day. I want out. I want my own place.

Hope you are OK OP? Have you any plans to look after you this weekend? I'm particularly anxious as it's a bloody long weekend!!!

Hi Lemon,
Thank you for asking. There are so many things to do around the house and garden but frankly I can't be arsed. I shan't be living here much longer. I have books to read and am hoping the weather is nice enough and I can plonk my fat backside on the beach. What about you Lemon? Do you have plans to do anything? It feels like a triple whammy....2 Sundays and the end of summer!

Much the same as you, I cannot be arsed. There is a local fair by me this weekend but I know if I go and take the kids then I will be looking at all the families and thinking they can see what a sad lonely cow I am!!! Whilst STBXH is off living his best life with OW. Feel free to PM if you get to down.

Thank you. I don't think you should worry what other people think. Most are only thinking of themselves anyway. Xxxx

1 day down, 2 to go!! Did you make it too the beach

I didn't but I am going tomorrow and Monday and Tuesday. Went to a retirement party this evening and quite enjoyed it. Had a silent disco which I liked.....surprised even myself!

I am single, childfree and love my sundays! I stay up til 3-4 am on a sturday night and get up when I wish on a sunday. Its a day for kicking back, watching Netflix and treating myself. Even if the queen knocked on my door she would not get an answer on a sunday/. Lovve it!

How you doing suburban?? I am really struggling today. Have braved faced it all weekend and today I am a huge ball of anxiety.. can't stop thinking about ex and what he's doing with his new partner. Please tell me it gets better

I am not great. I started a new job today with regular hours so I will have a small but regular income. Stbx is now saying he wants to 'pause' for a while. Although I am fuming and anxious and really sad, it actually suits me to wait until I have bedded into the new role.
Really sorry to hear you're struggling. I don't know if dh has another woman but I would be like you. Ignorance is bliss. I hope it gets better. Xxx