Why is it so hard

[Flowerpower987]

Hi, I'm in such a sad time I just not sure what I'm doing.

My partner and I have been together 10 years. It's not been working for the last 3 years. We just argue all the time. I don't want to be with him any more but no matter how many times I tell him I'm not happy and it's not working he comes up with ideas in working on relationship. We have both cheated on each other. It needs to be over.

But if I try and sit down talk and tell him I'm unhappy he storms out angry then comes back wanting to work it out.

I feel so guilty but we have grown apart got together fairly young.

I still feel devastated at the thought of ending it with him but I have nothing in me to work on it.

Is it normal to still feel gutted it hasn't worked out I just feel so guilty

Hi
That sounds exhausting. Do you have kids together, do you own your home together, if it’s a no to both I would leave. If it’s yes to either start the mediation process, hopefully once you start the process your partner will accept it’s over. Good luck

The guilt is normal in my experience definitely for the first while but its the brave thing to do to end it, we only have one life it’s a waste to spend it in an unhappy relationship.

It takes years. Don't underestimate how much you are going through.

No kids no just struggling with it

Nothing is surprising here. He’s upset at the situation. Most people are when faced with change and what feels like failure. He’s expressing his feelings in anger and hurt.

But he will get over it. There’s no point in repeating the marriage is over. If you have told him that 3 times then now you need to make it real. Have you found somewhere else to live? Physical separation is usually the way to signal the next stage. The filing for divorce.

If you are really serious about ending it then time to make plans to move out. One way or another that’s what needs to happen sooner or later.