Just looking for a hand hold and some advice here.
Background - been married for 31 years to a very selfish man who is sometimes verbally abusive, sometimes financially abusive, bit of a narc, who has in the past several months started to show a slightly more aggressive side on occasions. I've wanted to leave for years but never had the means to do so. Last year I got made redundant from my long time employer and I got a good settlement and immediately saw it as my escape fund.
A few weeks ago we had a row and I finally blurted out that I'd had enough and wanted to divorce. We argued and he was shouting that he would contest it, he wasn't going anywhere, I couldn't make him etc. This went on for a couple of days and then he started acting as though I'd just had a tantrum and everything was back to 'normal'.
What he doesn't know is that I've been busy looking for rental properties to move in to with my two DDs (20 and 22). They are both 100% behind me moving out and will be coming with me as they still live at home. It's taken a while because we have a couple of pets but we've finally found something and been accepted (pending the usual checks). Well now it's all seeming very real and I'm scared shitless.
Partly I'm scared of eventually having to tell him. I'll only tell him nearer the time once everything is signed as I know without a doubt he'll turn nasty. The other thing I'm nervous and unsure about is what my legal requirements are regarding our current house. We have a mortgage in both our names. I'm happy to keep paying half the mortgage to retain my interest in the property. It's a very low mortgage so won't be too much of an issue. However, what are my responsibilities regarding utilities and insurances? I assume as I won't be living there that I don't have to pay towards them? I'm planning to get my name off the council tax and a couple of bills that are in joint names. Some are in his name only. I wouldn't be able to afford the new place if I had to pay half mortgage AND bills on our current house. I'm hoping that this action will spur him in to realising it's definitely over and that the house will need to be sold so that I can get my share of the equity.
Feel in turmoil right now but I'm hoping when I'm out the other side of this that I can finally start living my life again and who knows, be happy!