How do you stop yourself emotionally folding?

[Suburbanqueen]

Can anyone give me some tips for staying dignified and maintaining an even mood while we start the process of dismantling 30 years of marriage? Everything just makes me so very sad and I am not sleeping. I have to start a new job in September and I need to be able to focus. I just want to curl in a ball and cry. I have a counsellor whom I see from time to time and I am on antidepressants but these supports , although good, can't anaesthetise me from this horrible mess and failure.

Remind yourself of the reasons you are divorcing. Remind yourself of all of his irritating habits and every time he disappointed you. Remind yourself that you are strong, dignified and have coped for (50 odd?) years of life.

Tell yourself you have another 30 odd years to love life, achieve the things you want, be the person you want. You won't have to compromise. You can be and do anything you feel like.

Life will get better. 🍷

Yes, wise words MMMM . I am 61 and feel cheated and angry and sad but he isn't the man I thought he was. I wish I had done this 20 years ago. My Dad told me not to marry him. He thought he was a 'lunatic' . Should have listened.

How about you let yourself curl up in a ball and cry sometimes? I usually find it easier to maintain an even or upbeat mood after I let some of the stress hormones out via tears.

Schedule time for it even. Use music/films that are likely to spur memories to help you trigger. Release the emotion a bit and it can help you move on.?

I'm going to use that old cliche 'time is a great healer'. I've been where you are, and it is horrible I agree. It gets better with time, and eventually things feel better, and your life becomes happy again, and you get the old 'you' back. Be kind to yourself, don't expect unreasonable demands of yourself, and treat yourself as you would a good friend in that situation.

Take each day as it comes. Treat yourself to a spa day or a few hours in a salon. Buy a new outfit. Keep thinking of You. And how you deserve to be happy. Set yourself goals. Maybe start looking for a course that you would like to do. Just keep busy. You can do this. Us women are amazing 💪🏻

Thank you everyone. Now we're separating he is being so nice. We're even able to chat in a friendly way. I guess he's getting what he wants but it makes me wonder why it has to be like this after so many years.
Yes, I am too proud to cry in front of him. I have done that and he has no time for it but I do need to cry so curling up in a ball and balling will be scheduled!

Thanks again everyone