Divorce - childcare

[Qez1]

Hi I am after some advice please. Going through a divorce and my children's father is psychologically abusing them, saying if you do not come over I will not buy you anymore toys etc, he brought my daughter a gift and said to my son he could not have anything as he refused to visit his dad one day. We have tried to agree childcare arrangements between ourselves but he is now trying to threaten joint custody. Is there anything I can do? I am not trying to limit contact but am worried about the emotional damage to my children and they don't mind seeing him but hate staying the night as he is living with his parents and there are lots of arguments between them.
Any help appreciated.

Record everything that he says and does. He can't be rewarding and punishing your dc when they do or don't visit him, thats so wrong. Also advise your solicitor of what is going on, they will be able to advise you further.
My stbxh has been bad mouthing my family to our children(who repeated it to them last weekend) and I've told him in no uncertain terms it stops now. I don't bad mouth his family to our dc and I don't expect him to do it either.

Thank you, I will record everything as you say and tell my solicitor. My stbxh bad mouths my family too so I feel for you, a leopard cannot change its spots but its good to put clear boundaries in place.