I did it

[Millshake01]

Told H it's over. Hopefully for real this time. I'm sure it will be. I gave him a few home truths. As usual he shut off and didn't speak.
After reading up on marriage issues I have come to the conclusion my H is a narcissist.. Explains so much during this awful marriage!
I need support!!

Well done you! Stay strong, if you want it to be over, don't let any emotional blackmail come in to play - if he is a true narcissist as you say, he will ultimately try to turn on the charm and promise you world, and will have you doubting your decision x

@PurpleNebula84 thank you. He reeled me back in last time. This time it's not happening. I had read up on this behaviour so I'm well equipped now. Hopefully this is the start of the rest of my life!

Well done! Time of new beginnings. It won't always be easy but in my experience, zero regrets

@MimosaFields thanks. Xx

@ Millshake01 How are you doing?

@freeatlast2021 not too good. I lost my beautiful mother very suddenly in September. I'm deeply grieving so my marriage crisis and determination to leave him is on the back burner for now. I'm not strong enough to deal with his shit at the moment. He won't go quietly. When I eventually got him to leave the last time, he turned very nasty & manipulated the kids against me. He's a very stubborn & an argumentative man.
Thank you for asking. How are you doing?

I am so sorry about your loss @Millshake01 I can only imagine how you must feel right now. Something similar happened to me too. I was considering separation just before Covid but decided against it knowing that my now ex would lose his job. After that all hell broke loose. So much was happening to us, he lost his job, our DC were having mental health crises, WFH was driving me crazy, so I kept postponing "the conversation". Right at the very end when I thought this is the moment to do it, my MIL passed away in a very tragic way. I though I was going to get a nervous break down. I did not see how I could leave him at that point. But I was so unwell. I mean, it took me over a decade to get to the point where I was clear what I wanted and had courage to deal with it, but it seemed that universe did not want me to do it. My health was deteriorating. I was thinking I would either die or lose my mind. But then a situation presented itself where he asked me directly if I thought were were ok and I looked him in the eye and suddenly I realized I had to be honest with him and myself and I said it.

My ex moved out on August 1st. That period from when I told him I wanted to separate until a few weeks after he moved out were still really hard but then I started to feel better. I often sit quietly and observe my body and my mind and realize how much better I feel, no anxiety, stress, no aches and pains; I can actually sleep at night. I am so content. When I am out I cannot wait to come home. I cannot wait to go to bed at night.

Dear Millshake01 I wish you from the bottom of the heart that you will soon feel well enough to broach this subject with your husband too. To set yourself free. In the meantime, take care of yourself and please remember, you deserve to be happy.

Well done op, there is a lot of info out there on narcissists. I unfortunately was sucked in by one to and I'm currently separated from one. YouTube helped me a lot and Caroline Strawson on Facebook has a group for women who have been abused by narcissists. Good luck with your journey.

@freeatlast2021 @Iseeyoulookingatme
Thank you both. 💐