I’m at the stage where I need to end it with my husband and I think (hope) he feels the same, but I’m absolutely petrified of saying the words to him.
We have been together 15 years, married 7 and have 3 kids 8,6 and 2. I’m a sahm, he’s self employed. Own our home (although mortgage in his name) with around £140k equity in it. Also have a small 1 bed flat with no equity. No idea how much my oh pension is or value of business. He pays him self around £36k salary, but has around £20k in business acct and 3 company vehicles. Our car is worth around £15k (owned)
I’m worried about how he will react and how the kids will. Everything fees so uncertain as I have no idea what/if I’d be entitled to any benefits or how I’ll get by money wise. Ideally I’d want to leave with the kids and start renting somewhere, while we put house on market. The other option would be for him to move onto the 1 bed flat but then he’d not be able to have the kids. I feel like I should be the one to move if I’m instigating the split. Neither of us could afford to buy each other out.
Would I be entitled to any benefits, for the next few months, if we own our home? The area we are in houses sell very quickly. My oh pays me £1k a month as admin assistant, but really for tax purposes and so I have NI contributions. In then use this money for food, clothing, kids things etc. So left with very little and have no money for a deposit.
Kids are settled in school, and my eldest has some learning issues which have been addressed really wel there so I don’t want them to move schools. Places to rent are few and far between in our village.
I can see him turning around and not wanting to leave (quite rightly I guess as his house) but no idea what to do then?