How to seperate/divorce when skint!

[DoreenP]

Hi everyone. I am very unhappily married but I have resigned myself to the fact we will have to stay together because I can't see another option.

We can barely cover the rent and bills between us on one house , let alone two - so we are kind of stuck. We don't own a property or have any savings.

Can you can only end a marriage if you are in a place of privilege? Any advice would be very welcome! Thank you.

Many single people have to live in house shares and the like because rents are so high. Would you rather live together or with a stranger? Depending on income you may get some top up benefits but unlikely if on anything other than Mim wage. There aren’t to many other options!

I am on more than minimum wage and still get a decent amount of top up benefits through universal credit. My rent, and a personal allowance for myself and my 6 year old are included in my claim. I applied for council tax reduction ASAP. There are online calculators to help you work out what you are entitled to.

Before I left xh I did a lot of research into what I might be entitled to and various options for accommodation/work/running a car etc. I did detailed income and expenditure budgets based on those various potential situations. I am fortunate that being a nanny made childcare simple, although I did need to find money to pay for a dog walker so I could keep him.

I worked crazy hours for 6 months to get myself on my feet (was still getting a small UC top up even working 50+ hours at above minimum wage). I found it much easier to stick to a budget once I was on my own although 5 years on I still can’t actually afford the legal fees to divorce him.

Good luck OP.

If you have kids that’s different with housing tops and the like. OP sounds like they are child free

Do you have children?

Sorry i should have added i have two children! Which is another reason it would be hsrd. They'd be heartbroken.

Thank you so much, this is useful to know!

Yes , sorry i should have said! Two daughters!

I thought this but was actually better off after divorce. However my husband was really poor with money and once I'd divorced him I was a lot better off. Still had a few difficult years but got through and have not looked back. You have to accept reduced lifestyle but also explore benefits and reduced single person council tax etc.

Thank you @MakeMeCleanTheHouse. My husband is also terrible with money (one reason we are skint and renting, he's in loads of debt). My wages are less than his but go on the kids, shopping and so not enough to save.

I worried about the impact on my daughter who was 2 at the time. In reality she has probably been much better off having a happier, less stressed mum who is out of an emotionally abusive relationship.

@Ireallymustgetup She most definitely is! Thanks.

I can only agree with this as well. I worried so much about impact on my children but it was the best decision. I wish I'd done it earlier