I have started a court case against my estranged husband for enforcement of an existing Child Arrangements Order. As well as a couple of weekday evenings, he was also granted every other weekend (EOW) contact with our children in the original CAO. He managed to comply with EOW contact for the first 5 months that the court order was in place, but then he was required to work at least one, if not both, days of every weekend by his employer.
The pandemic hit soon after so I felt it unfair to insist that he complied with the court order to the letter as he was designated as a "critical worker" throughout this time. (He works in retail, for info). Several months ago, as the pandemic seemed to be easing slightly, he came to a compromise with his employer that he would work one day of every weekend and have the other day off work to spend time with our children. However, he would only be told at short notice whether he was required to work on the Saturday or the Sunday of every weekend.
Having reminded him several times of his duty to comply with the Child Arrangements Order and this reminder falling on deaf ears, I applied to the court for enforcement of the CAO. We had our first dispute resolution hearing earlier this week. I am in favour of reinstating the EOW arrangement but he is in favour of splitting every weekend between the two of us. We now have a final hearing in several months but I am now living in fear of the court ruling that we need to split every weekend between us which would enable the ex to keep his employer happy. However, this arrangement would seriously suck from my and the children's point of view.
For background, we have 3 DCs, including 2 DCs with moderate special needs, aged 12 and 10, who attend special schools. One of the SN DCs is autistic and has ADHD, the other has social and communication difficulties and suspected autism which has not yet been diagnosed. These 2 DCs have a 45 mile round trip to school every day and I feel that they need to rest and relax at the weekend, rather than having to move between houses. They also struggle with transitions, like many SN children. We also have a 6 year old DC.
I want to build up a case to present to the court prior to the final hearing on why I feel it would be a good idea to reinstate EOW and a bad idea to split weekends, backed up by statements from the professionals who work with our children, if such professionals are willing to participate. I also want to back up my statement with research about coparenting SN children, if such a thing exists.
Have any of you ever built up a case for the court prior to the final hearing? Please also hit me with your reasons on why EOW contact is a better idea than splitting every weekend between us.