Nov 2015 I discovered not only had my husband of 18 months cheated on me with a girl 20 years his junior, who he met off a porn chat site, she also became pregnant and had a baby in the July.
When I found out, the affair had finished. He ditched her when she became pregnant. He doesn’t see the child (his choice) but pays maintenance.
We tried and at first succeeded to move on. Then we became like brother and sister (sex was always instigated by me). Now I know he preferred the S&M. I eventually asked if he loved me like a wife or sister, he said sister. Since then (2017) we have separate bedrooms, no intimacy, not even a peck on the cheek. Life has just plodded on, we have holidayed, attended weddings abroad, been out socializing with friends, the perfect couple on the outside.
We have recently finished updating the house and its looking fab.
I have recently been getting fed up of living this way, and deep down my gut instinct was telling me he’s cheating again. I am wife number 4 and he has cheated on all wives!
Last night he came out with ‘I’ve been seeing someone’. I coolly replied I know. His face dropped.
I told him to pack his bags and be out of the house by tomorrow (today). His reply was its not that easy! I told him yes it is go out the door, lock it and put the key back through the letter box. I asked who she was and got that’s irrelevant, is she married/ she was but she left her husband, did she leave him for you? No he replied. Is she pregnant, No. Go and move in with her, it’s not that easy!
I then went off to bed. Didn’t see him this morning as I left early for work. When I got home I packed all his clothes in bin bags and put them in the hall. He came in later, went straight upstairs and 3 hours later is still up there.
I have downloaded the divorce papers. I am not being driven out of my house. My plan is for him to do one, I will then serve him with the papers for adultery. The finances can be sorted later. The house and his private pension are in the pot. I intend to pay the mortgage for a year or so then when ‘I’ am ready I will get the house on the market. I only work 25 years, he earns a lot more than me. Not sure if I can go for maintenance for me or not. House bought jointly. I am 57 he is 55. I need to get his pension frozen as he can access 25% of it now. Thankfully we have no kids together and I have a grown up son.
I know he could force me to sell the property, but I presume he would have to go to court for this?
I just wish he would leave. The first time I found out he said it was a mistake and he didn’t want to go. Yet he does it again and still refuses to go! My fear is when he drinks, which most nights he does, he can get nasty.
Any advice /thoughts would be much appreciated.