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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Anyone else experienced this?

3 replies

Ele01 · 29/07/2021 14:21

My ex husband refuses to have anything to do with our child like an abrupt cut off since separation months ago and started saying ‘your child’ and not ‘our child’ and then said he couldn’t have a relationship with child because of me! Excuse me of abuse! So if I’m abusive why leave the child with me? He refuses to even show love or care and won’t utter a word about child. I’ve give up now I’ve tried my best but I’m not begging him to be involved if he doesn’t want to see our child - it’s like he doesn’t love child anymore? I don’t know. I have looked through some posts quite similar but not exactly same to mine , I guess I’m just reaching out for some opinions and to talk just in general.
I’m an amazing mum in the sense I do all the care giving anyway nothing has changed in that respect but I think the lack of regard / care from my ex husband is very damaging x

OP posts:
Charismac · 29/07/2021 18:19

That sounds like it's been a difficult journey. How does your DC feel about the situation? Do they ask about their dad?

Sunflowergirl1 · 31/07/2021 07:51

Some men just want to get at their ex and see that hurting their children as a way of doing so in my opinion. Usually they have narcissistic tendencies

wantmorenow · 31/07/2021 08:07

Sorry you are going through this. Likely it is a way to punish or control you. My exH didn't see our shared 2 DC for 2 years when we split as I wouldn't come along too and he was convinced I would use the childfree time for fun or to "fuck other men". No idea what he thought I would do with my other 2 kids whilst he had them. All the while he was telling family and friends I was preventing contact and how distraught he was about not seeing his kids.

He's a narcissist and an abusive man and so is your exH. Kids will be upset but once I got over the rage and disappointment in his behaviour, I realised that not seeing their dad and being subjected to his mind games and poor parenting was good for them and me.

It gave me space to build up my own support networks and friends and we thrived. He's back in their lives now but he's still a knob and not a good dad.

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