Received Divorce petition, do I need financial order, agreement re:dc?

[TerryTTT]

I've received a divorce petition.
We have 3 dc, no assets.
Dc love with me and they stay with ex twice a week
Ex pays less maintenance on the agreement he pays all the debts we had (in his name), and if any large expenses come up (like school uniforms), he will pay half towards that.
Ex has a pension/shares but I've been a sahm for 10 years so he could further his career and I could be around for our dc (1 has additional needs)
Ex has mentioned a few times that he wants eldest to live with him when he gets a bigger place (currently a 1 bed house). I've not taken the bait as I feel he's after a reaction so I've just said I don't want the dc separating and left it at that.

It's fairly amicable to be honest but I just want to check if I need anything in place before signing off on this?

Ex says he has a solicitor and I do not, which makes me feel wary.

Thanks for any advice

SEE A SOLICITOR ASAP

Well, his pension and shares are assets, which on the face of it should be split at least 50:50, or maybe more in your favour as he has a bigger earning capacity going forwards, which has been acquired at your expense.
He needs to provide a valuation of these before you agree to anything. It is clearly only possible for you to consider any offer on the table if he has made full financial disclosure.

I’m not a lawyer however I know that:

• he has to pay maintenance for his children, and that’s arranged outside of any divorce agreement

• his pension is considered an asset of the marriage and you’re entitled to a slice

• the fact that his earning potential is way higher than yours must also be taken into consideration

Seriously why would you even consider NOT getting legal advice?

Also what if he isnt paying his debt and is say, pissing it up the wall? Where’s your protection there?

Of course you need a solicitor and a formal agreement.

The pension I don't know if it's something I want to claim on. I have no clue how much it is (he's been with his current employer 10 years), and I feel it's his money, he's earned it. I may be being a bit of a pushover

The debts, they're all in his name as I didn't work, so if he doesn't pay them then it will only backfire on him.

I'm just aware that on a whole he's worked very hard for us a family. He worked 3 jobs at one point as we were struggling financially until he got this new job/career. I know he wouldn't see his dc struggle or go without

With him paying the debts I don't want to bleed him dry

He asked I agree to a consent order (after the divorce I believe?) to agree on the lower maintenance payments. I've told him I won't be signing that because as the children get older it'll be more expensive to look after/feed/clothe them etc and he's currently paying around 3/4 of what cms says he should be paying

If he has shares and a pension these are both assets. Sounds like you are getting a raw deal here. You need to consult a solicitor.

I see. And could he have managed to go out and do the jobs and pay the pension if you hadn’t been doing what needs to be done with the kids????

What are the debts? If they are general family expenses I’d kind of agree this should be factored in - ie you may take less share of idnsion if hectares in those.

But you still need to understand what the value if shares and pensions are

Yes you need a solicitor and a formal consent order

On the d81 he will have to put down all hid assets he needs to provide you with this so you can see value of things before sign the consent order .. The this is the very least

Plus please do not say he worked hard he earns it I am sure he did but bringing up 3 kids is very hard work ..