I’ve been looking through some posts similar but not entirely same situation as mine...
I’m being accused of ‘coercive abusive behaviour’ by my husband and this has made by him even though he has even abandoned his ‘daughter’ his statement to me is very unsettling. The divorce was based on his unreasonable behaviour because it went from literal one day full of support while discussions was going on regarding a separation etc though and would be supportive to our daughter and then within days a complete cut off from nowhere- no involvement - refused to speak to daughter and cut her off completely emotionally and will not talk about anything when I’ve asked why is this he said it’s because he doesn’t want to see me etc I’ve suggested to even keep me out the situation and get a third party involved like a family member of his etc to see daughter or talk to her ...but the coldness I can’t get over it the (emotional distant) seems odd surely a decent person looking in would think if i was that bad why would you leave your child with them? It seems like excuses and I’m wondering how to proceed with the situation it’s been a year nearly and very bizarre I’ve done nothing during this process Ive tried to be the bigger person opened doors to let him see daughter etc and I wouldn’t stop it etc and he didn’t care he turned around said no I don’t want to see her etc. It’s hurt very much but obviously it’s all about my daughter and if she’s ok and right now she is ok- but so but like many fathers I think I picked wrong one he wasn’t a hands on dad at all I did all the raising maybe that’s why he found it so easy to leave her knowing I would pick up the pieces ...I don’t know but his claims of this ‘abuse’ is really getting to me as a reason now he doesn’t see his daughter because of it. There are no court orders of abuse no police involvement/ and he didn’t even mention it during our divorce or court hearings so why keep saying it to me, is it like validation to himself?
I think I’ve seen some posts with similar situations however not seen any answers regarding how do people view it if for example the ‘psycho ex story but the child was left with that ‘psycho ex’ would it seem odd that the other parent would abandon that child?
I think I’m just seeking opinions and I seem to bother what others think maybe a fault or mine it bothers him saying stuff like this while also getting away from the responsibility for his daughter no care / and no involvement whatsoever.
I have endometriosis and had pre cancer that required a few operations and I had no support properly and we argued etc as soon as I got ill and the duration and after 16 months of that it was over even though we had been together for 12 years prior, the last 16 months did it with me being ill and I feel like I’ve been very blamed for getting ill (this was part of my petition for divorce that and also him telling me he couldn’t continue with marriage suddenly and didn’t think he wanted to be in daughters life so I went straight for divorce)
Hoping someone can give some insight feel at a loss and feel like I’m only coming to terms after year or this happening prior and seeking some advice and talking about it seems like a lot of unfortunate women / mothers been wronged on Mumsnet I just feel so sad for everyone who has to go through things like this ❤️