Please can someone help me with advice , think I want to seperate

[mrssunshinexxx]

What's my first port of call don't think my husband knows how I deeply feel I don't think he's happy either but I don't think I can carry on like this misery. Do I ring citizens advice ? The reason I'm worried is I'm a SAHM and pregnant and he has recently started a business so no idea what to do financially

You’ll need to think about

Housing - who will live where
Assets - what are they, how to split them
Debts - as above
Earnings - his, yours (potential)
Any existing children already ?
Child arrangements for this baby

You don’t need citizens advice. You’ll need a solicitor

A good solicitor, who you get on with. I found a woman who got where I was coming from.

I've heard that some of them do a free 30 min consultation ? That might be a good place to start @SpongeBobJudgeyPants

@millymollymoomoo

You’ll need to think about

Housing - who will live where
I doubt he would go but I would be happy to downsize and rent somewhere smaller we currently own but have a mortgage.

Assets - what are they, how to split them
Again I'm not that interested I just need peace and try to get some happiness in my life. We have one car and he has a work van so it would make sense for me to have family car but last time it all came to blows he took the keys off me.

Debts - as above just mortgage

Earnings - his, yours (potential) I'm a SAHM he started a new business in feb so no idea what he will earn yet but it's doing well . We have a decent amount in savings to get me set up

Any existing children already ?
Child arrangements for this baby.
Yes we have a 1 year old we are still together and the biggest reason I want to split as he's bang average as being a dad and I want better for her. To put it very short I feel like a single parent but with none of the benefits of that.

You don’t need citizens advice. You’ll need a solicitor
Citizen advise will tell me if any what benefits and how much I'll be entitled to surely a solicitor doesn't do that?

Further to my post if I do manage to separate what happens with the newborn cos obviously I don't want it out of my sight when tiny and I will be breast feeding again I stil feed my 1 year old but obviously she's weaned also

Work out what if any benefits you be entitled to via www.gov.uk/benefits-calculators .

You've put 'come to blows' does he hit you?

Please be careful about leaving the home. There are benefits to help you stay in your home . I wasn't advised properly by CAB or my solicitor. You have to make sure you get a properly trained CAB advisor, I took advice over the phone from a CAB person who obviously was not experienced/trained. The solicitors have minimal knowledge of the benefits system.
I lost my home because of the above.

You need the security of your home for you and the children.
Please tread very carefully, and start out with the attitude that you may be able to stay in your home.

Thanks @Forestdweller11 no definitely not we just row and are fairly miserable most of the time and I just know it will only get worse when another baby comes along and I would find it easier doing it alone I feel like I do anyway

Thank you @penni00

You need to ask about SMI Loan, SMI helps you pay the mortgage. I was told I would only get the SMI for something like a year, but that was inaccurate.(led to me thinking I couldn't finance staying in my home). It is Support for Mortgage Interest. It is now a loan rather than a benefit but don't let that put you off immediately. Martin Lewis hopefully explains it somewhere on the net!. CAB haven't had much experience of it since it changed from a benefit to a loan, which makes it even harder to get good advice.
Probably worth you investigating even if you decide not to separate - it is always a good idea to be clued up. I miss my nice house and garden so much I can't tell you.

Thanks @penni00 he won't go and I really just want the misery to stop without all his shit I wouldn't need a house as big it's hot 2 big gardens and a double garage it's too much maintenance for me alone. I'm sad I'll be renting and probably never be able to buy again

How about lodgers you help finance ?

I just don’t want you to make the same mistake I made. It feels impossible when the partner won’t go I know. I think you may get financial support/ benefit support even if it is a large house. I think your partner can go to court to force a sale , costing him twenty thousand plus. I think it could be decided that the property would remain in both of your names until the children had grown up with you staying in the property with the children until the children had grown up. I may have got this wrong. There are lots of things going on here though, for me emotionally a bit I of me wanted to get away snd be somewhere different for a fresh start. But that was a mistake. I guess the whole thing depends on your situation all round. But rental is horrible when you have been used to your own home.

@penni00 I have a 1 year old and am pregnant so no a lodger wouldn't be suitable I'm going to try and get a free 30 min consultation with a solicitor and see what's best to do it's so difficult as only have joint bank accounts

Okay, I will leave you be, I hope things go okay for you.

Thank you for your help @penni00