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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Older and Wiser

1 reply

DoesLoveExist · 10/07/2021 17:54

Hello all,

Is there anyone out there who was quiet as a young girl and avoided boys/men like the plague (shy) and ended up marrying the wrong man in the end? I put way too much effort into my career to escape living on a council estate with my mother so didn’t experience the opposite sex - hardly at all! Well, to be frank, I didn’t - at all!! Boys maybe thought I was nerdy. I was never interested back then!

I met my husband during my university years (who was a driver for the university) and we got chatting. Got on well and we started going out. He took me places that I’d never been to (growing up in a low income home we didn’t go anywhere) and I relished in it but I always knew there was ‘something missing’. I was a virgin and hadn’t experienced anyone else. I had nothing to compare him to.

Roll on 27 years and I am in an empty marriage. I am not attracted to him and gave up with sex years ago as, well, he never turned me on and was so bad (although I had nothing to compare it to) at it - no kissing much, no foreplay and just on and off kinda guy. I am very passionate inside. Crave what I see on TV sometimes. He’s very odd. 11 year age gap doesn’t help. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings but have done myself immense damage over the years.

I have blossomed over the years in my career and my looks. I am 50 next year and don’t look it. I’m a lot more confident now (I’m also a senior manager in my profession) and feel very different to the young girl I was back then. I was a fool! A bloody fool!

I ended it last Christmas as I could no longer take living in a fake marriage. I have matured over the years and realised what I have done. Not sure on my next step as I am still living in our house but have to sell up. I’ve decided to go to New York once this virus settles a bit and have a holiday there. Need it!

Anyone else been in my position? What did u do?

OP posts:
ShimmyYay · 11/07/2021 12:29

I think you have clearly come to sobering realisation that this gentleman is not for you and you do not want to waste any more of your precious time on this earth. I say be selfish and do what your heart desires! Book those tickets to NY , go explore places you’ve never been, make new friends , perhaps in time you’ll even meet the man you feel most happy and content with someone that shares your interests :) You owe it to yourself! Best wishes ❤️

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