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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

AIBU or AIBNU to ask my husband for divorce ?...

4 replies

Pitu2titu · 07/07/2021 06:01

Firstly I am Sorry for the long post .
My husband and I have been together for 14 years and married 12 years . We were really happy like most of the couples. I started to have my doubts about him some how ... I found a big poster of his ex under clothes inside the wardrobe I found text messages on his phone from other women. We had a conversation about it and the my trust was gone ...
We haven't been having sex like we used to sometimes I would stay without sex for 8 months (was not pregnant). I was the one that was trying to make him to want me but he was always tired or had headaches... I told him so many times how he was hurting my feelings. After conversations he was ok for 2 weeks and then go back being the same ... it has been like this for over 10 years .Now I am so stupid thinking that he would change So I am pregnant by our second child . He is so cold to me .I am nearly 7 months pregnant he Never came to me to rub my bump or ask if I am ok or if the baby is ok. Seems that he doesn't care much . So now I was so p... off and I went again and checked his computer and I found all porn movies, live chats with naked women . I am feeling very lonely for the last 10 years , there is no much of communication between us. I tried to be a good wife , ... I have my little son 3 years old and now I am pregnant. My hormones are all over the place... We bought a house together years ago and have no mortgage . I got to a point of asking him for divorce , but my concerns are. I don't want to be on the streets with two kids . I am so afraid but at the same time so unhappy. My question is: AIBU to throw up in the air all of those years we've being together ? ... thank you!

OP posts:
Frenchfancy · 07/07/2021 06:26

Yanbu. If you own your home you won't be on the streets. Go and talk to a solicitor before you talk to your dh.

gorngss · 07/07/2021 12:19

I am really sorry for what you're going through. You sound very lonely and sad. YANBU at all. Please don't think in terms of "throwing things in the air". We've been indoctrinated into thinking that marriage is the ultimate success in life and ending it is a "waste" or "throwing it all away". I stayed for a couple of decades because of this useless advice and I so wish I'd left sooner. I have become miserable and a shell of my former self, as everything seems to have been stripped away from me. I am looking forward to building my life away from him with my children, rediscovering the person I used to be. You will be much happier without him.

Pitu2titu · 07/07/2021 19:00

@Frenchfancy thank you so much , yes , I have to talk to my solicitor first, very soon , that was my concern to be on the streets .

OP posts:
Pitu2titu · 07/07/2021 19:05

@gorngss thank you . I am sorry you were going through this terrible things . I can not stay much longer with this man , I need to move forward and get on with my life and children. Unfortunately it didn't work out for me anymore. I am glad you are getting on with life without him. I need to be positive and get it done . Don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life . Thank you so much . Good luck to us 🙏🏼

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