Hes Moved Out - Feel Lost - Does it Get Better?

[Mummykins54]

So he left last week after 27 years together - married for 23.

I am off work with stress, not eating properly and feel so down even though we haven't been getting on for a long time. We have been living in the same house but he hasn't spoken to me for the last 9 months.

Everyone tells me it will get better - just looking for reassurance.

Is it normal to have doubts wondering if you have done the right thing?

He was emotionally abusive but I sometimes think it was easier putting up as we had been together for so long than the way I feel right now. I just feel lost and a mess.

TIA x

He hasn't spoken to you for 9 months? That is appalling behaviour! Big hugs! It does get better and you will flourish without him, it'll be his loss!

I promise you, it will get better. No matter how life has been, the routine is different and it'll take some getting used to. How you feel now is perfectly understandable, but it is not a permanent feeling. Look after yourself and day by day, probably without realising it, you'll begin to feel better. 💐

It will!

I'm 2.5 years on and happier than I've ever been. Similar length relationship to you. Big upside was I lost nearly 2 stone at that point, downside is I moved in with dp at lockdown and put it all back on

@AperolWhore

He hasn't spoken to you for 9 months? That is appalling behaviour! Big hugs! It does get better and you will flourish without him, it'll be his loss!

AperolWhore know! My friends cannot believe how I have been treated - feel like a walking virus. We have two kids aged 20 and 17 and they have witnessed this behaviour. I can't get my head round how you can treat someone you have been with for so long like that.

Justmuddlingalong and motogogo - thanks for the encouraging words. I just feel totally lost if that makes sense!

My marriage was slowly making it's way to the bin, where it belonged, but I was still a blubbering, snottery mess for a while.

I was married for a much shorter period but remember going through it. Th e end of a relationship is much like a bereavement, you go through stages of feeling helpless, lost, questioning and anger. But there comes a point it becomes more manageable. I had a mental list of the things he said I couldn't do and slowly over the years ticked them off as I found my self confidence. It took long time. I wish you well in finding yourself again.

@Justmuddlingalong

My marriage was slowly making it's way to the bin, where it belonged, but I was still a blubbering, snottery mess for a while.

Hi - similar lol - I am up one day and down the next - how did you get yourself back on track? I just feel very lonely.

It just took time. The support of good friends helped, but just time really. I think it's a bit like the stages of grief, you can't speed up the process.