So I’m at that point in my life. DH and I decided to separate after 20 years and are in the process of putting the house on the market and going our separate ways.
We haven’t told our 12-year old DS yet (and naturally I’m dreading it).
I’m the one who initiated the split. No longer in love, I guess I’ve changed (and he hasn’t), I’ve been miserable for the last 6 years, no sex for the last 4-5 years (I don’t find him attractive anymore), my head has nearly been turned twice and I just know it’s the right decision for all of us. My DH is still clinging and delaying.
I thought I had processed a lot of the emotions around it - guilt, failure, sadness, etc etc) since we first had the separation discussion almost a year ago but now new emotions keep surfacing.
We’ve always said 50:50 split care would be fair as it reflects how we look after our DS now. But I’ve just realised that I’ve not processed that one at all. Now the reality is hitting, I’m feeling enormous sadness about not seeing my DS every day.
So I want to ask those who have a similar arrangement, how have you coped with it? Please tell me something positive, I need it so much. On a more practical level, what split works for you, ie one week on, one week off, or three days on/off, plus alternate weekends etc.? I’ve got to be honest I haven’t thought about it fully at all and now I am finding it overwhelming.