Divorce and how to make a new start after 20yrs marriage

[cobsforever]

Never posted before looking for advice how to move on when nearly divorced after 20yrs married.
Feeling very down no friends ect .

I don't have any advice, as I am soon to be in the same boat. It does feel overwhelming. All I can offer is a hand hold.

Thankyou it's so emotional up one min down the next I hope your OK camouflagejacket .

Same boat here too though I have a few close friends.
However I tend not to tell them everything that's going on with the divorce.
It's a real rollercoaster, isn't it.

Are there any clubs locally to you that you could join - any new hobbies you've always wanted to have a go out? Anything that could give you something new to look forward to ?

No advice-in similar boat too. Things have been bad since last April and we separated in Jan this year. Today we decided to get divorced. Only been married 2 years. Feel utterly horrible and numb.

That's rough, @Toffpops, so sorry about that.

All those in the boat, it does feel lonely, doesn't it? I'm still at the stage where I don't want to tell people becuase I feel a failure.

@camouflagejacket it is. I feel ashamed that we couldn’t make it work and if I’m honest I couldn’t even say what went wrong. He just decided he needed to move home to Scotland (I live in the north west of England) and knew I couldn’t move as my daughter is settled at school here and I wouldn’t move her away from her dad. Not that he even asked. I’ve tried everything to try and work on things he said were an issue (but then told me they weren’t really and it was just him), and lately we’ve seemed to be getting on better on the few occasions we met up, but then he cancelled coming down this weekend and today that was it. Don’t think I’ll ever get an answer

@cobsforever sorry I’ve just posted a big whinge in your thread. Hugs to you and keep posting and maybe we can help each other through

I felt a failure when my 18 year old marriage ended in divorce and never wanted my children to come from a broken home.
Op it depends on your situation now...are you financially vulnerable etc and how old are you? Do you have a job?
Are there any friends you can reach out to?
The divorce part can be quick, the finances another matter. From start to finish and several court hearings mine eventually ended after 5 long years.

@crimsonlake how did you sort your living arrangements out over that time? My H says he won't leave till we have a financial agreemet.

Camouflagejacket
Initially he decided to move out thinking he could live the single life for 6 months, get it out of his system then return. Once he walked out the door there was no going back for me, but at the time he gave this litlte thought I think.
He quickly rented a flat, all probably planned prior to leaving, at this point he was a high earner. To cut a long story short a few months later he had purchased another house before the financials were settled.
Initially he seemed to think he could have entry in to the fmh when it suited him. I ended up changing the locks.
Went to court and I received a court order stating myself and the children could remain in the fmh for a few more years until the children reached 18 years of age.

My heart goes out to you all. Im in the same boat. Im English but living in The Netherlands, we just moved house then one week later he told me our marriage is dead. One week further on he was sacked for having an affair with a colleague, both teachers. I am in total despair, live in the middle if no where, no friends, no close family. Still living in same house but hes seeing her and its like a stab to to heart each time he goes there. Im so lonely, upset, been a month now. We were married 20 years and i was stunned when he told me....hugs to u all

@RoseTudor hugs to you x

Thanks Toffpops....its very differcult just thinking of all that needs to be arranged especially being in another country

@crimsonlake Ah right, very different situation to mine. Sounds like he had it all sorted out!