Struggling with change after house sale

[Pyke]

Happily separated for nearly 18mths and no regrets on that front. We decided to sell the family home for several reasons, mostly as didn’t want to be financially tied and we had a lot of equity we could split. This hasn’t been enough to buy a new place yet but is a good start. The problem I’m having is a sense of loss around ‘home’. I didn’t even love the house, the street, the area so although I was expecting a sense of loss, I wasn’t prepared for how I now feel which is directionless and rootless. I’m in rental with the kids in an ok area but I’m not intending to stay here for more than another 6mths - 1 year from now. The house has one problem after another which the landlord is good at sorting but the walls are paper thin and Its a big rough here. The thought of having to move again, all the hassle, being in rental for a while yet is getting me down. The kids have really missed the old house, we now live 5 miles from school as I can’t afford to rent (or buy in the future) there so they can’t walk to school anymore. I just feel a bit lost with the house going, and that I don’t have a plan, or that I can’t achieve what I want and will be stuck in one rental after another for years. Please let me know there are upsides, I’m all focused on the doom at the moment!!

Can I ask if you're saving to buy another place OP? Or if not, why not? Renting is awful I know...

Yes but think it will take me about 2yrs to save more plus my ex made late payments on the mortgage at the end so credit file is impacted. So I’m looking at renting for a while. There just is barely anything to rent, I’m lucky I found the place I’m in, it’s a bit scraggy and one problem after another but nothing major and awful, it just gets me down a bit anyway. I think if there was more choice and I could
Move to a part of the new area I prefer them I’d feel better, but the fact of even moving again to get out of the scraggy house is depressing! And then I’d move again another year later if I had enough deposit and my credit had recovered.and this area is the only place I could afford to buy (not where kids go to school, they go in a much better area where we used to live) and that also gets me down, I don’t like the thought of buying here and putting down roots when I don’t love the place. I can’t afford where kids go to school and I’m not mad to get back there either as it was where we moved to to raise a family and it’s different now. Hence the sense of feeling loss and without a direction!

You've went through so much already! How old are the kids ?

All under 10

All I can say is that it's clear you're a very good parent...planning the best you can. I'd also like to say that my family went through a rough patch when our kids were 6 and 10 and moved from our lovely family home and into a terribly run down council flat in a very rough area.

We were there a year and the kids have weirdly always spoken fondly of that time.

They don't remember the awful cement stairs or peeling wallpaper...only the nice lady next door and how they liked the shared gardens.

Things will get better....make it as homely as possible with lamps, throws and cushions. Flowers in vases and music....look after yourself.

Tha is so much fortunes that is lovely to read. I was ok with divorce and breakup but the loss of home feels more potent. I think I’m desperate to start again and think I need to for my well-being, but feel unable to do so right now and that’s hard.