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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Is this Fair. Wife has control of finances.

17 replies

Googleboxfan · 04/07/2021 11:03

I need some help to help ease the stress and anxiety I am feeling.
Will try and keep this as brief as possible.
Wife wants to separate (I am female also)
She is breadwinner and I work part time and earn minimum wage.
She had set up her own Community Interest Company and I was Director. I helped out when I can. She has resigned me as Director without my consent and I now no longer receive money from this. She says she worked to set it up.

She has organised for her salary to be paid into her own private account and she is covering a percentage of the bills in proportion to her salary.

With my salary She has organised half to be put in to cover bills and half to go into my savings.

She has taken money out of our joint savings so I don't go to a solicitor.

According to her this is fair. I try to discuss things with her and she flies off the handle. Saying I am trying to take half her business etc.
I've said we need to so this amicably but she won't talk just shouts at me and belittles me.

This weekend I very kept away from her and stayed in my bedroom.
I went downstairs and tried to talk about something trivial and she's just giving me one word answers.

She is really grinding me down and I feel even more helpless and depressed.

She knows i can't afford a solicitor.

Everyone says for me to get legal advice which I have done but I simply can't afford any more.

I am looking for work to increase my hours but no work available

Please help

OP posts:
ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 04/07/2021 11:06

What is the outcome you want?

Original poster
Googleboxfan · 04/07/2021 11:07

I want to have what I am entitled to. We've been together 24 years and married for 14.
She's just taking all the money.
I can't live off my minimum wage salary

OP posts:
Mountaingoatling · 04/07/2021 11:08

Just engage a solicitor. You pay them at the end. You don't need advice you need to engage a solicitor to negotiate your settlement.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 04/07/2021 11:09

The usual scenario is to split the assets 50/50 and then each party supports themselves.

If you can't live off your minimum wage salary you are unfortunately going to have to reduce your expenditure or increase your salary. What's your housing situation?

Original poster
Googleboxfan · 04/07/2021 11:11

We have our own mortgage. We also have a dd6.

We both agreed that I would work part-time so I could be homemaker for family

OP posts:
tenredthings · 04/07/2021 11:12

How did she resign you from your role as director ? Did you sign anything ? Sounds dodgy

Original poster
Googleboxfan · 04/07/2021 11:13

@tenredthings

How did she resign you from your role as director ? Did you sign anything ? Sounds dodgy
She must've done this via companies house. I wasn't asked to sign anything
OP posts:
FutureExH · 04/07/2021 11:14

Sounds to me like financial abuse. She's probably scared as the higher earner that she will get screwed in a divorce which is reasonable given the way asset splits work but at the same time it's making her act in an irrational way that is at odds with the law and your rights, which matter too.

Go and see a solicitor as you don't pay until the end. Have them produce a settlement that is fair and present it to her. Hopefully she'll then realise that you can't take her for everything she's got, that divorce is actually quite fair, she won't end up in a crummy bedsit because she has almost the same right as you to provide reasonable accommodation for the children and she'll begin acting a bit more rationally.

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/07/2021 11:15

I think you posted a few days ago and had quite a lot of advice including to talk to a lawyer and ask to pay them later and to contact women’s aid if you feel you’re being financially abused.

roarfeckingroarr · 04/07/2021 11:16

Why should she continue to support you if you're splitting up?

Original poster
Googleboxfan · 04/07/2021 12:36

@roarfeckingroarr

Why should she continue to support you if you're splitting up?
All I want is for this split to be fair.
OP posts:
roarfeckingroarr · 04/07/2021 13:23

@Googleboxfan do you have children? If not, surely going your separate ways with your own money is fair.

Original poster
Googleboxfan · 04/07/2021 13:36

[quote roarfeckingroarr]@Googleboxfan do you have children? If not, surely going your separate ways with your own money is fair.[/quote]
Yes. We have one daughter who is 6

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 04/07/2021 13:42

Have you seen a solicitor yet like everyone has stated ?

Original poster
Googleboxfan · 04/07/2021 13:55

@millymollymoomoo

Have you seen a solicitor yet like everyone has stated ?
Yes. He said for me not to leave out family home and stay with dd6. He also said I won't be able to afford the fees as it would cost about 10k to 15k as wife is being awkward
OP posts:
Notaroadrunner · 04/07/2021 14:01

How has she access to your money? Get it paid into a sole account and take charge of it yourself. Don't put anything into a joint savings account. Just transfer whatever amount you need to in order to cover household bills and food.

Original poster
Googleboxfan · 04/07/2021 14:10

@Notaroadrunner

How has she access to your money? Get it paid into a sole account and take charge of it yourself. Don't put anything into a joint savings account. Just transfer whatever amount you need to in order to cover household bills and food.
I will do this tomorrow. I am also thinking of transferring out child benefit payment to my account. It is in my name.

I worry incase she applies for child benefit when she leaves

OP posts:
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