DIVORCE ADULTERY

[Bardo1972]

My husband and I where together for 10 years married 3 years ago. We where married 2 months when he told me he had been having a affair for 3 months and the women was pregnant. We split up but so far he has refused to sign divorce papers on the grounds of adultery. He has now agreed we can divorce on the ground of adultery but wants me to sign a finical consent form. He is quiet obsessed with this mentions it 3/4 times in every email he sends. Refuses to pay for the divorce. Says if I dont pay he will divorce me on unreasonable behaviour. What should I do my head is all over the place

Pretty sure you can’t divorce on adultery grounds now, unless you already filed within the 6 months.

Also you would pay that way, maybe you could reclaim costs but seems he is going to be difficult about it.

Personally if I was you I would let him divorce on grounds of unreasonable behaviour, and he can pay for it and sort all the paperwork out for it. The grounds really make no difference to anyone. And it’ll piss him off more if you just say ok, go ahead.

As for financial stuff, you need legal advice if there are assets and he’s going to be difficult. Don’t sign anything without getting your own legal advice.

Thank you for your reply. If I did not live with him after the adultery was confirmed, I believe I can divorce him on the ground of adultery this far down the line. But to be honest I just want him out of my life. So will tell him to divorce me on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour. As he left me with debt and I dont want to pay any more money out, that I may get back from him or may not.

What does your solicitor suggest?
Especially with regards to the financial thing he wants you to sign?

What does it matter whether it’s adultery or unreasonable behaviour? Seriously nobody is going to know or care, the only people who see the papers are you and your eXH and the court. There is literally nothing to be achieved by holding out for his signature on the grounds of adultery.

As for a consent form, yes you will need to sign one if there are assets involved, but first you should see a solicitor to discuss the potential division of said assets. What demands is your h making re the finances?

I went for adultery as grounds as it meant a lot to me that the truth was on the certificates and as I had taken marriage seriously and this was the cause of divorce. Seeing it in black and white on court papers was therapeutic. I know it doesn't bother some people but it did me.
I didn't name OW but it did go through on adultery. I had proof of texts and emails him admitting it and almost bragging. This also meant he had to pay costs and court fees so saved me a lot of money too (1800).

No fault divorce will be available very soon. I would cool your heels and wait for that and get legal advice on the financials once everything is calmer.

You need a solicitor to look over anything ref the financial seperation.

Ask his for full disclosure I think it's a form e.

Also I don't think the reason for the divorce will affect any division of assets like pensions etc.

What did you post @Aquamarine1029?

Can you re phrase it I'm really intrigued to know As this is a pretty standard thread?

@namcybotwinbloom

All I said was it was crazy to hold up a divorce in order to get it based on adultery because it doesn't even matter. However you can get it accomplished, the easiest way, is the best way. Why my comment was deleted I have no idea.

@Aquamarine1029
This is what I think. It might get deleted too cos we may be reading on the same page.
OP I spent many thousands on my divorce just to nail my exh for adultery. The bill was nuts.
Who is ever going to read this shit in the future.
Just sign the marriage off. It's done.
And it saves a high degree of stress.
Good luck 💪

It does matter to some people though and doesn't always cost more.

I was going to divorce on grounds of adultery but the OW kicked up a fuss, so instead I said so ExH decided to divorce me on those grounds. his reasoning being that we were both seeing other people, the difference being my relationship started after we spit up, his didn’t. I just wanted to get it over with. So let him get on with it. The only time it mattered was when I had to produce my divorce papers when I remarried and it’s on there. Luckily I had already told my DH before hand so it wasn’t an issue. But for some blokes it could be.

I so regret not standing my ground, but did it. My life is so much better now. And he is divorced again. Poor thing … 😄

*I said ok to ExH …