Full custody of child?/ divorce

[Lilly239]

Can I make something official in terms of residency rower / full custody of child of marriage? Can I get a full custody consent order if if my soon to be ex husband wants nothing to do with our child’s care etc or see child is there such thing as a full custody order just to cover me? I’m at the end stages of my divorce (decree nisi just been proclaimed and awaiting financial consent order to come through etc) and just wondering if anyone has experience of this or knowledge x

Child arrangements no longer form part of the divorce. Has he said that he wants nothing to do with them?

Do you not have a solicitor????

If you are both in agreement there is no need for an order. If your ex later changes his mind, the matter will be dealt with based on the child’s welfare at that time, not any previous agreement.

Yeah wants nothing to do with child and I thought if I can get a full custody order I would do / is there no such thing as a residency order now?

No solicitor x

Child custody is dealt with separately. You can get a legal agreement via the court which means you do not need to seek his permission for eg holidays but he can seek access at a later date. I strongly advise you go to mediation and ask him to have some contact for your child's sake, exh's ddad walked away and it screwed him up

I’ve tried @motogogo he wasn’t a hands on dad child doesn’t even notice as much it’s not as if she crying all time but obviously it’s still there I’ve tried everything for months but I keep getting met with nasty comments regarding child onto being legal child now and doesn’t show any care what do ever - I’ve even tried during all that but he keeps throwing it in my face and makes me feel like I’m begging I’m certainly not begging at what point do I just accept 7 months on he ain’t interested and I need a residency order etc :( x

You can apply for a court order, there is a form online and you can do it and submit yourself. However you must go to mediation before applying - it is compulsory, at least one session.

You could also draft a parental plan (template also online) which is what we ended up doing instead of court order as we agreed on 50:50 eventually. If later on it goes to court we can at least show that we had a per-agreement which isn't legally binding but shows we had agreed to something previously.

Like someone else said, you might want to do that so you wouldn't need father's consent to take your child on holiday for example.

And by "do that" I mean get a court order x

There is also the “no order principle” which means that if you and your ex are in agreement that your child lives with you, there’s no need to make any orders at all. You don’t need a residency order if he’s not interested. The only benefit of a residency order (now a child arrangements order) is that you can take the child out of the country for 28 days without his permission. If he tried to prevent you taking your child on an ordinary holiday, he would not be successful.

I would rubber stamp it with a residency order (if they're still a thing) so that you don't have to ask him for permission to take dc on holiday for a start. All people with parental responsibility should be in agreement for lots of things (school places, medical treatment etc) but in practice if he's never shown any interest then I wouldn't worry about the day-to-day stuff.

Are you claiming CMS?