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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

DH and divorce - is he being clever ?

13 replies

fatfeet · 11/06/2021 13:13

We've been unhappy for years but H would never discuss divorce.

Last year was shit. H was on furlough for 6 months, transferred to another department when he finally went back to work in November but then made redundant in Mid April. I ended up working harder than ever with no extra help in the home from him despite him effectively being on a paid holiday for 6 months !

I had planned to be brave and take action regards the divorce process in early 2020 but Covid got in the way although H knew I was intending to consult a solicitor and get things moving. He also knew it was on hold pending things improving as far as Covid was concerned. I mentioned it many times to him.

I was wondering why he hasn't been actively looking for any new work, calls from recruitment agencies simply don't get responded to, he's not networking at all.

Turns out he believes that if I go ahead with a divorce whilst he is claiming unemployment benefit, he'll be given a larger share of the financial assets due to his low level of income. He has therefore decided to have a "long summer holiday" for the second year in a row. He doesn't actually want to get divorced anyway so it's a win-win situation for him. Either I push ahead with plans and he plays on his reduced circumstances (he was in the £50,000 to £100,000 earnings bracket before redundancy) to maximise what he comes out with from the divorce financial settlement or I put up with him lazing around for months on end in the hope that he'll decide to find a job once his benefit entitlement runs out (which it surely must do at some point).

Does it work this way when it comes to assessing need when splitting financial assets ? I am sole go to parent for our teen dc. H does absolutely nothing for them. He does nothing for his own elderly parents either, he exists in a selfish little world of his own.

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 11/06/2021 14:16

I'm not sure but bumping for you. It sounds like that's his plan, whether or not it'll work I have no idea.

I would think that he wouldn't get a 'higher split', rather he would have to give a 'lower split' iyswim. i.e. he is effectively reducing his assets and income and sees no point in increasing it as it would cost him more. The % split would be the same, but the value would be less if that makes sense?

Assuming your DC stay with you of course.

Hopefully someone will be along who actually knows what they're talking about! Smile

HosannainExcelSheets · 11/06/2021 22:55

Try to get proof that he is intentionally depriving himself of income to influence the outcome. And remind him that it's "earning capacity" that the court looks at, not current income.

fatfeet · 12/06/2021 13:18

@HosannainExcelSheets

How would you suggest I get such proof ?

It's my word against his as to not replying to agency staff and not spending any time searching online.

I thought that these days you had to prove to the benefits people that you were actively job hunting or you got "sanctioned". Does that not actually happen in real life or do the DWP just pick on the minimum wage type unemployed people to enforce that ?

OP posts:
HosannainExcelSheets · 12/06/2021 16:01

How did you find out he believes he can influence the outcome of the divorce? In conversation? It will be hard to prove, but you can get things like evidence of what he used to earn, evidence of home not attending any job interviews (keep a diary), evidence that he's decided to take a long summer holiday (again, did he say this or possibly text or to you).

I was able to prove that my ex was hiding money that he thought the was being clever about. He sent me a WhatsApp and I screen shot it before he deleted it.

Don't do anything illegal like record him without consent, though.

almahart · 12/06/2021 16:24

What does your solicitor say? I was told that courts would take a dim view of someone not looking for work

HollowTalk · 12/06/2021 16:54

I would tell my solicitor that this was a contributory factor to deciding to definitely go ahead with the divorce. What a waste of space that man is.

waterSpider · 12/06/2021 17:51

Child maintenance is a percentage of earnings, so will just rise when/if he goes back to full time work, if you are the main carer.

MrsBertBibby · 12/06/2021 18:06

The Court will assess his earning capacity, in terms in particular of sharing capital. Of course, him not paying you child maintenance will I crease your capital needs....

I would just crack on.

JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 12/06/2021 18:17

I'd be inclined to get hold of a copy of his CV and maybe some payslips from his former higher earning roles, so that you have evidence of his financial potential.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 14/06/2021 11:02

How old is your teenage child? If they turn 18 before the divorce (bear in mind that divorces take on average 18-24 months) then he won't have to pay CM anyway.

Then the rest is just a division of the assets, regardless of his earnings.

FutureExH · 02/07/2021 15:15

I would have thought that as your child is already a teenager you would be close to a 50/50 split anyway and clean break in a few years?

Lonecatwithkitten · 02/07/2021 15:19

My Ex did exactly this, did him no good at all. Earning capacity is what is assessed. He received a sharp reminder that once he was working or in receipt of benefits he should pay the correct child maintenance.

Howcanthisbe123 · 02/07/2021 15:48

What an arsehole!

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