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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

How to decide what's fair?

2 replies

Whatonearth2021 · 08/06/2021 21:59

Any advice please - I had negotiated a settlement with my STBX when my salary was very low (had been SAHM for 3 yrs prior to that, and worked PT since DS1 was born) - but the agreement dictated that nothing would be impacted in the first 3 years to allow me to get back on my feet. Then if I were earning over X at that point, maintenance would reduce (global payment - he's an extremely high earner).

Through help from a friend and a lot of very hard work I managed to secure a job on a higher salary. But the company is in financial difficulties and it's not likely to last very long.

I have 70% custody of my 3 DS who are 9, 11, 13 and I'm utterly exhausted working FT in this senior role, whilst caring properly for the children. I do all the admin for the children, and even the drop off / pick ups on his days, as he would just put them in club and they hate that.

I recently revealed my new salary to STBX as was advised I would have to disclose prior to consent order being submitted. He is now utterly reneging and offering a much lower settlement, on the basis that if I have increased my salary so quickly there's nothing to stop me doubling further - well there is, 3 children and exhaustion, not to mention that I'm very old for my profession and was just very lucky that a friend took pity on me.

I've spoken to many lawyers but no-one can give me any idea what I would be likely to get in a settlement. I have no spare cash to go to court and really don't have the fight in me.

He also says that there's no need for me to own a house, and that I could always rent as he is doing. If we were to sell, then the rental income in my area for a 4 bed (I assume each DS should have their own room) would be 3-4 times the current mortgage.

I just don't know where to go from here, any advice much appreciated.

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 08/06/2021 23:24

Get made redundant. Get out of that job any way you possibly can OP.

millymollymoomoo · 09/06/2021 07:35

No one here can tell you as we have no idea of your assets, both your wages, how long you’ve been married etc

I don’t understand why your solicitor is not able to advise on what a range of possible outcomes could look like ?

It’s highly likely you’ll be expected to work full time due to children’s ages and both parties are expected to maximise their own earnings if they can

I don’t agree with pp in trying to get made redundant- by all means seek alternative employment but be mindful you don’t want it to appear like you’re deliberately depriving yourself of an income either

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