Child care agreement and school drop offs/pick ups.

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ExH works 8-5.30 during the week so is unable to do any school drop-offs or pick-ups. I work mainly school hours and can do both.

On his days with DCs, he is currently still expecting me to do them, but after a comment he's made recently about him helping me with DCs one day which is technically my day, I'm reconsidering all our arrangements and thinking he's a cheeky twat considering I do two pick ups on his day!

Even if I am available to collect DCs from school on his day, would you tell him to sort out an alternative? I don't want the DCs to suffer as a result of our silly disagreements, they like that I collect them from school, but I don't want to be taken the piss out of either.

What do you think?

Imo the whole point of him seeing the dc is to parent them. You aren't an Uber driver...
He meds to organise everything in his time. Or you aren't getting a break are you?
I am sure being at his disposal isn't an idea that appeals to you...

Do the pick-ups cause you problems? Is your ex supportive in other ways?

I try not to pick a fight with my ex on the basis of a minor disagreement, I pick my battles about things that really matter. I want my ds to grow up surrounded by harmony and causing an atmosphere when I'm not really bothered about an issue doesn't seem like good value.

Only you can judge how you feel really,

Ignore and focus on kids. He clearly can't pick up and putting strain on the situation will ultimately affect your kids. If you can pick, please do.

I don’t think yabu at all. His days he sorts/pays for drop off and pick up. Child minder or after school club.
I’d agree to help each other out in emergency but he shouldn’t just expect. You may want to work extra hours on days he has the children going forward etc.

I'm in exactly the same situation. Was fuming but now I see it as extra time with my girls. I get to hear what happened at school, provide stability, do homework and reading etc (exh doesn't do any) and i overall get extra time. So remember that all this is about you and your relationship with the kids. I know how you feel I felt exactly the same as my ex is lazy and a total Disney dad. I have to work part time but I love my kids so try and refocus on that x

The pick-ups are pretty pressurising as it's a rush to get to school from work and it's time that I could spend getting more work done. I tend to work an hour in the evening after he collects them following my school pick-up. But I could be spending the evening time at a yoga class or swimming.

The children are quite unsettled by the recent split though so I wouldn't like to unsettle them more so either. They're 6 and 4.

Did you point out to him that you do the school run on his days when he made his annoying comment? I think I'd carry on doing this for the DC's benefit, but I'd def make it clear to ex that it is a favour!

It’s arguably more confusing to them that you do pick up then hand over to dad. What if they say actually I’d rather stay with mum tonight.
Maybe agree that from September you’ll cover your own days then he has plenty of time to sort after club, apply for reduced hours at work etc.

Him helping you with dc? I think that is called parenting not helping.
You are in the early days. Best to get the ground rules in quick. Anything you do now will be seen as YOUR job forever more. Maybe try saying "You know the drop off and pick up times are xx yy" See what he says. Any smart comments about it being YOUR job, you can pull him up and say, "Not on your day."
Good luck, I hope your find a balance quickly.