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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Desperate to leave lazy husband

3 replies

Hedgehog2254 · 24/05/2021 21:19

Good evening all,

I really need some advice please, and even just some listening ears. I’m so sad and stuck.

I will try my best to put it in a nutshell. DH and I have been married for 5 years, together for 10 years and have a 7 year old child. He has a 17 year old son from a previous relationship, who spends 50/50 time between our house and his mum’s. My dh does not work. He treats his son like his best friend, they drink together quite a lot and spend all the time in stepsons little room. Our dc gets no attention at all, ever. She doesn’t like him, none of this is my doing as in I haven’t spoken badly about him to her, she’s a smart kid she sees what goes on. He has a history of heavy drinking, emotional and verbal abuse towards me. I don’t like conflict especially as I don’t want our dc to witness arguments so I just walk away, usually with him still shouting at me. I work part time and do both school runs before & after work. I do the shopping, Christmas and birthday organisation and presents. He sleeps a lot during the day. He occasionally will clean the kitchen but that’s it really and the rest is left to me. I get shouted and moaned at if I leave something :(

I haven’t worn my rings for over a year and have told him a while ago I don’t want to be with him any more. He is making me so sad and also affecting our dc’s happiness. I told him the other day I’m filing for divorce, and he laughed at me. He has treated me so awfully and I feel so sad all the time, yet he expects me to still be loving and caring and gets very angry, does not understand why I’m not. I am walking on eggshells around him all of the time. I am worried to be around him because he is so angry a lot of the time and I’m worried I’ll get shouted at.

I will be filing for divorce soon. He can’t move out due to finances and neither can i. So I do feel like I am stuck with him forever. I need a way out and I can’t see one. How do I get out of this? I can’t take it much longer. I know that me and my dc will be happier and the environment will be a lot calmer, which is all I want. To have a calm and happy life :(

Thank you for reading x

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 25/05/2021 07:32

You might want to move this to relationships OP. That board seems a better fit IMO.
There are some links to videos pinned to the top of the active threads list too that you might find useful.
There are lots of threads in relationships that would be worth reading.

sandgrown · 25/05/2021 07:38

Is the house rented or mortgaged? If rented can you start saving a little each week towards a deposit on a place of your own . Would family/ friends help you out? Try and get some free legal advice on your position and find out what benefits you may be entitled to . Good luck x

notapizzaeater · 25/05/2021 07:41

You can 'separate' in the house and do a UC claim as a single person, this extra money might be enough to move out ?

Are you in rented / mortgage ? Who's name is in the tenancy / mortgage ?

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