MEDIATION WITH A LIAR

[mvilma6]

Hi,

divorced already after 5 years and one 13 months old baby.
we had our 1st mediation session and what a waste of money:

• we did it over the phone and ex requested to be done calling backwards and forwards (double the amount of time/money wasted) because he didn't want to see me

• he said, he is not prepare to talk about our baby. he has not seeing him for 5 weeks. great, nothing arranged

• financial, he claims he has £150 savings, a £1500 a month job, £3000 debts and pension worth one month

I know the pension is a lie as I have seeing him many times changing pension pots every time he was sucked from a job (many times that happened), and the debt he is always buying himself staff

Meanwhile, I have a £2700 job, £2000 of hard safe money, baby full time with me (£1300 nursery a month) and a £24000 pension

I can see its not gonna look great for me as he is useless with money and jobs (one of the reasons for the divorce)

he pays £236 towards child maintenance. so I asked him for 75% of selling the house (as I know sooner or later) he will loose his job again and will only have to pay me £7

any advice ladies? i can see having to go to court as mediation is not going to work with him lying. Will court be able to find his pension and see how the stupid debt happened?

thanks

Court will be expensive. It doest sound like you would end up with more after all is said and done, and you have both paid for lawyers.

Sometimes you need to cut your losses. But you can tell the mediator you know he's lying, because you've seen his pension statements.

Honestly you need to become more objective about the mediation. Just provide the information you know to be true which supports your contention for a bigger share of the family assets.

If you know he has paid into pensions and transferred them, just state that. If he tells an all out lie do not argue. Just ask again for an explanation of the pension contributions made in all jobs in the past 5 years.

But you might need to prepare for a decision that awards him 50% of the assets. That’s because you earn almost double his salary. Without taking account of benefits.

@LemonTT is completely right. My ex is lying in court, but unless I can prove it with hard evidence, he will just get away with it.

Decide what your priorities are, and then focus on them. Don't get caught up in righteous anger. It's won't help you, but it will cost you money going back and forth paying lawyers and mediators.

Thanks. The problem is he has had pensions for years, me inly 5 years. If he doesnt disclose that im screw as will seem im much better off than him. But all he has done is change jobs or get suck and use his credit cards on ridicolous things such as tiys for himself and now i work hard for my j9b and stability and he takes half.

Om fuming with the thought