Where to start.....

[Northernmum100]

Looking for some wise words and advice to help me put a plan together. No friends who have been through this, no colleagues who I feel I can ask and don't want to tell family yet.

In short:
Together for 22 years, married for 9
Two children age 19 and 21, both at home
No mortgage on home. Cars, savings and mortgage free second property as assets.
His income per month is double mine, I went part time when children came along and stayed that way ever since as I do around 80% of home maker role.

Sorry if this is a dumb question but If we split, am I entitled to maintenance from him? I am thinking as children are over 18 then it's a no? As all assets have been accrued while together as a couple then would it just be pretty much a split down the middle and I would have to find a way to survive on my part time wages? I've looked at the wikiDivorce calculator and that suggests I am entitled to maintenance but it doesn't ask ages of children on it so does it make difference?

As I say sorry if its a stupid question and I'm looking at making a solicitors appointment asap but this is whirring around in my head.

Any other advice is welcome too!

Sorry your going though this @Northernmum100 . I don't have any expert advice but I would have though you would be entitled to spousal support since you have been the home maker for all these years? X

Thanks for your post. I am absolutely terrified of the whole thing to be honest. My confidence and faith in myself is at rock bottom and I suppose staying where I am is the easy and less scary option though I am desperately unhappy. I am really hoping a free half hour with a solicitor will be able to give me areas an idea about the maintenance side then I can plan properly.
Thanks again, I really mean that. I haven't opened up to anyone so your response means something.

Why couldn't you work full time now OP? Not judging you- it's a genuine question since you mention trying to survive on a part time wage.

Not offended in the slightest Miseryl. My part time hours are only 7 hours short of full time and they are contracted hours. Current employer unlikely to give me any more hours and at this age, moving to a new job could have a significant impact on my pension pot and current job is very secure - e.g. not affected by Covid like so many amd this is important to me especially if I'm on my own in the future.
I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest taking on a few shifts in a pub / supermarket to top up the hours if I need to.

Child maintenance will depend on what your children are doing - are they working, in further education or in higher education? I believe you’d only still get it for the 19 year old if they were in further education. If they’re working and are likely to stay living with you could they contribute towards the bills?

When you’re thinking about assets, don’t forget about pensions too - a 50/50 split should include these too

Do they still have the fixed fee solicitor on wikidivorce?
Bc you can phone them and get free advice. I found
them v friendly and helpful when I was doing my own diy divorce.

It may be that you can reasonably negotiate more than 50% of assets as you have less earning potential due to prioritising his career over yours to bring up DC.

Plus who will the DC live with?

Remember pensions are an asset too.

The children are adults. They are not going to factor into any needs.

The OP works and has an income. It sounds like there is sufficient capital to ensure they both have a home and pension. I don’t see a compelling case for maintenance. What would be the grounds?

Realistically you are not going to get maintenance for children, the ‘children’ will both be in their 20s by the time the divorce goes through, but by all means check with a solicitor. Spousal maintenance is different, is the ex a very high earner?

Thanks for all the posts! Both children likely to remain with me due to behaviour (his, not theirs) and I realise with them both earning and their ages, support is very unlikely for them and they would contribute what they could to bills with me from low paid entry level jobs.
Husbands annual income is almost exactly double mine.

His income isn’t the main factor. What is your income? Double a low salary does not sound like spouse maintenance territory. Double £25k is £50k. If he is a very high earner, c£100k, then half that would £50k.

Given the asset settlement will provide you will a mortgage free home, why do you need more income?

I don’t see why a clean break won’t be the solution here.

As others o don’t see a compelling case for spousal
Your needs can be met from the assets available ( include pensions). You may well be awarded a higher share to compensate your loss of earnings over the years
As your children are grown up and you work you would be expected to maximise your own earnings not expect spousal
I think a judge will want to see a clean break here