Anybody in Scotland had a court order to stay in property

[clpsmum]

Seems that in Scotland it is impossible to get a court order to stay in the marital home with both parties named on mortgage even though this happens in England. I do have exception circumstances and while staying in the home with ex on mortgage is not ideal it's better than the alternative. Has anybody been able to do this? My solicitor thinks it's impossible so I'm grasping at straws to be honest as sure she is right! Any advice welcome

Mumsnet is not going to offer better advice than your solicitor, who will have all the facts. Spend your time planning what to do rather than grasping at straws.

There is no planning just sitting and waiting tbh and feeling awful that's why I reached out for advice. Wasn't actually expecting better advise than the solicitor would give just wanted to hear peoples stories and feel not so alone

But thanks for making me feel lower than I already do hope it's cheered you up

Don't have any advice @clpsmum but hold tight. I am sure there are others on here than can share their experiences.

@clpsmum I'm sorry you're going through this. It is so hard that Scottish laws are so different. Wife always seems to end up poorer (esp if SAHM) - I know, I've been there.
I don't have a specific answer to your question but, if you're unhappy with your solicitor, you can change him/her. Also try the Scottish Law Centre for advice.
In all though, Scotland seems to prefer a clean break and 50/50. It could cost an awful lot in court fees etc to argue otherwise. xxx

I feel so trapped. 4 years we've been separated and he is controlling my life more than ever. I have nobody in real life. I just feel so alone. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond and sorry for moaning

Do you mean you staying in the marital home and him moving out?

Who would be paying the mortgage?

Excuse me? Dont be so bloody rude. How dare you say "hope that made you feel better" as if I came on here and insulted you. You asked a specific question and I answered it in the most practical way.

You didnt just come in asking for help and emotional support. That I would give in spades because I've been through a very nasty split where my kids were hurt terribly. You specifically asked for advice which would prove your solicitor wrong and get you the family home with his name on the mortgage. That doesnt really happen here, and your solicitor knows better than anyone on here because they have all the relevant information so no advice would have helped you get your house. The best thing you can possibly do is get a plan in place for how you will handle it all, because sticking your head in the sand wont help you.

Sorry, my quote should have said "hope that cheered you up". As if I was trawling the divorce section to have a good old laugh.

I am not sticking my head in the sand

Hi OP - sorry you're feeling low - you might get a better idea by posting in Scotsnet

@clpsmum

I feel so trapped. 4 years we've been separated and he is controlling my life more than ever. I have nobody in real life. I just feel so alone. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond and sorry for moaning

It's unusual to be separated for so long in Scotland. Hopefully you have a Separation Agreement - or is that what's taking the time?

We don't have a separation agreement. Ex is very unreasonable

@clpsmum

We don't have a separation agreement. Ex is very unreasonable

Oh dear ☹️ But after 2 years of separation you could divorce him and let the courts decide the finances. You might not get what you want (most likely 50/50) but at least you'd be free. Speak to your solicitor and make sure they understand coercive control etc. Change solicitor if they don't. Good luck.

@Heffapotamus yea I could divorce him but solicitors advice is to sit and wait. Unfortunately my circumstances aren't straight forward. Life is shot sometimes!

I’m Scottish and in similar to position but he has moved out and we have no mortgage. He is a high earner, I was sahm for 19 yrs then worked part time. Scottish law doesn’t care, I have had to settle 50/50 and take on mortgage at 50 to house 3 kids whilst he waltzes off, has seen kids a few hours this year!!

@millymoo1202

I’m Scottish and in similar to position but he has moved out and we have no mortgage. He is a high earner, I was sahm for 19 yrs then worked part time. Scottish law doesn’t care, I have had to settle 50/50 and take on mortgage at 50 to house 3 kids whilst he waltzes off, has seen kids a few hours this year!!

I'm similar. We used to live in England. Everything my exH did was calculated- b***d 😡

[quote clpsmum]@Heffapotamus yea I could divorce him but solicitors advice is to sit and wait. Unfortunately my circumstances aren't straight forward. Life is shot sometimes![/quote]
All I can offer you is my sympathies. No doubt when the time is right for him, he'll move like a shot ☹️

Thank you for the sympathy @Heffapotamus it's appreciated. Horrible situation I can't afford to rent and pay the full mortgage and he won't disclose financial information so we can make a settlement so can't do anything u til he closed me his fingers and then me and my children very probably will become homeless

@clpsmum

Thank you for the sympathy *@Heffapotamus* it's appreciated. Horrible situation I can't afford to rent and pay the full mortgage and he won't disclose financial information so we can make a settlement so can't do anything u til he closed me his fingers and then me and my children very probably will become homeless

Have you been in touch with the Council? Get yourself on the housing waiting list. You may also be entitled to housing benefit once you are through all this. Try Citizens Advice, Women's Aid etc x