So, please explain this in an idiot proof way

[Whydoifeelshit]

Started a divorce a year ago, got a MIAM due to DV during the marriage and filled in a Form A.
Got talked out of applying for Nisi by exh as certain financial promises were made. Long and short, he lied and I’m back to picking up my divorce.
I get about the Nisi, and how to do that, but I’m stuck with the Form A issue.
Exh is a liar and hides money so I am in no doubt this will be a fight to get what I’m entitled to. There is a large house with a good amount of equity, but he “gave” his business away to family when I left and then went to “work” for that same company on a minimum wage so he looks like he earns nothing whilst raking in huge amounts of cash which are filtered through someone else’s account. My solicitor says we really need to get that recognised as that is worth a considerable amount to me.
However, I am mindful that if I go straight in with the Form A then I’m facing court and the large costs that go with that, but I’m also aware that he can waste my money at mediation, lie about the money and we still end up at court only I’m even more down on money as I’ve spent it on mediation.

I don’t really know the best way to go. I really need to battle over this company and he will immediately try to take me to court over the children, but I don’t want to be that person who just gets bogged down going and going to court.
Part of me feels if I don’t go in hard he will con me (absolutely will) but the other part of me doesn’t know if it’s worth spending tens of thousands on something I may not win.

If I do the Form A do I send it as soon as I have filed for my Nisi and likewise my MIAM and can I come to an agreement with him despite starting court proceedings if I want to.

Obviously my solicitor is keen for court, but then a solicitor would be I imagine!!

I wonder if anyone else has experience of this and could shed some light? I am not keen to mediate, it would be an exercise in me being shouted down, the mediator shouted down and us both having it explained to us, at volume, why we are wrong.

I might add, due to the DV I had to leave the FMH, so he has all the cards in his hands. There is no rush for him in anything as he is set up quite nicely

Unfortunately it does sound like you need to go to court. Mediation will waste more time and money. You do also sound like you will need specialist advice with forensic accountant input as well. It will be expensive but probably worth it.

Shop around for the right solicitor and the right forensic accountant.

Once you file Form A it just sets the timeline for getting all the financial disclosure done. You can do a lot of the grunt work and paperwork yourself to save money, and just get advice when you need it.

If you do agree, a Consent Order can be filed at any time, even once Form A has been issued. Issuing will just set a timetable, particularly for the disclosure of finances and questions afterwards.

Thanks for the replies. I am fairly savvy and have a friend who is in a legal field so can help with lots, but before we met he got divorced and that took ages (think years) as he was obstructive and lied.
Admittedly he has less now as he made sure he never had as much in his name again, but there should be enough for me to get a house probably outright, so we aren’t talking a tiny amount, but also not necessarily massive enough to warrant 70k in fees.
He will do anything to keep the house, so that’s probably my biggest bit of power.
I am just concerned that costs can spiral and spiral when in all honesty they don’t need your he is just fair instead of believing it’s all his and me and the kids can starve.

So, from an outsider angle, I’m probably best to cut out the middle man, do Form A and see what he comes back with?

I might be wrong but I am sure that if DV is involved ( if in England) you can apply for legal aid

@ivegotthisyeah

I might be wrong but I am sure that if DV is involved ( if in England) you can apply for legal aid

Hi, I believe it is, but, the DV was a couple of years ago and only one incident logged with the Police, I left at the time but we have back and forthed since that, so I’m not sure if it would even be accepted. I like my solicitor but she is v expensive. I would probably try to do most of it myself with her help.

@Whydoifeelshit that's what I'm doing found a fab solicitor and she lets me do the forms etc and I just ask her for advice and she writes letters to other party from emails I have written and amends them when necessary and I have also had help from family members

Yeah my solicitor said she’s ago that she can see I’m fairly savvy and she would be confident I could do most things.
My trouble is I know I would easily get embroiled in tit for tat rows via the solicitor. I feel so much rage and for years I’ve been blamed for everything that I feel the need to argue things and prove I am right!
My ex is also quite good at gaslighting me. He will swear blind conversations never happened, or say I’ve prevented him seeing the children when he’s actually not asked to see them etc.
I guess I will need to prioritise what arguments are important and could possibly change the financial settlement against those that are just him poking at me.